Okay, so right now it's not really April 13, but I've pretty much been busy today since the time I walked out the door around 9:45ish am until about a half hour ago at 12:15ish am.
This morning I went to church and was glad I did. I have missed being there.
I had never really realized just how many friends my dad had until he stopped to talk to so many people while my son, my sister, and I were trying to get him out the door to Big Boy to eat Sunday lunch.
At Big Boy, I went to pay partial of my phone bill and ended up actually paying for the whole thing would usually wouldn't be bad, but considering that it took just about all of the money out of my account leaving me with barely enough for gas and no money to pay other bills or daycare, I was pretty upset. So I spent about an hour on the phone with Sprint trying to my money refunded. Thankfully it will be and I can pay the amount I want to on Friday.
Right before that phone call though, my sister and I got into a fight because she doesn't really get when is a good time to shut her mouth and mind her own business. Everything seemed to just explode at the lunch table.
I mean, eventually my sister and I said sorry to each other.
During lunch, the Red Wings game started. This is the first game that I didn't really care if they won or lost. It wasn't going to help them in anyway. It was pretty much a practice for the playoffs which start on Thursday for the Wings and Boston.
But they did win, and they did it against the #2 team in the Central Division and without their best players. They healthy scratched their best goalie, defensemen, and one of the best forwards. Why not? They don't need the practice and really didn't need to get injured in any way.
Our Grand Rapids Griffins' goalie Mrazek was in the net in todays game and saved all shots that faced him.
I watched that with my dad and my sister after lunch.
Then my sister, son, and I went to the grocery store and I grabbed some food for dinner at my best friend/sister's apartment with my brother, nephew, and my son. Noah made some bomb-ass burgers. :)
Then Taylor and I watched Pretty Little Liars and I just couldn't believe how much they had changed from the beginning of the series to the end of this past season. Toby was sounding like a whiny bitch and that's not who he is, haha!
It's kinda hard for me not to give away things in a show to those who had never watched it, which Taylor and Noah had not. It's also kinda funny too though.
So after watching hours of it, I decided around midnight that it was time to drive home.
Now, I'm here. I wanted to update and whatnot.
Because also. Today, I remembered what it felt like to have a small little crush on someone.
I don't know everyone that reads this blog, so I don't want to go into specifics on his name or anything because if even a couple of certain people read this, they would instantly know who he is. All I will say is that he is someone from church that I find very good looking who obviously has passion for the Lord and willingness to serve for Him. And I do really find that very attracting. :)
Until tomorrow. <3
Monday, April 14, 2014
Saturday, April 12, 2014
April 12, 2014
I hate rain.
I mean, I like that it isn't snow.
But I hate rain.
I don't like having to stay cooped up in my apartment when it's supposed to be the warmest day we have had in a while. I don't like getting my clothes wet.
So I'm stuck.
Well, last night pretty much sucked. For being the last home game, they didn't play all that well. It's like, okay we made the playoffs so we don't have to play so hard for the last two games. No. That's not how it goes. We already don't have home ice advantage and now we apparently want to play Boston instead of Pittsburgh? Aye. Even for the last home game of the regular season, play your hearts out and play like you did against Pitts for your fans! Your fans who have supported you through the ups and downs, been there anyways when it looked like you weren't going to make the playoffs.
It is what it is. They just better get it together before the playoffs and play hard!
Rain puts me in a bad mood. Unless there is sunshine out. But there's not, so I'm already in an irritated mood. I have a messy house and a few financial issues over my head that I wish I could shake away but I can't.
Being a single parent is extremely hard and I don't suggest it to anyone, not that anyone tries to be a single parent. But those of you who do have the father of your child trying their best to be involved in your child's life, those that do as much as they can for your child, don't be a dumbass bitch and always complain about that. Don't take it for granted. No matter what your relationship with the father may be, whether you guys get along or not, if he is sincerely trying his damn hardest to be there and help support your child emotionally, physically, financially, and every other kind of way, LET HIM! Don't be selfish.
My son's father always claims on his facebook that he "misses and loves" his children and whatnot. While he may think that he misses and loves them, he doesn't. At least not enough to count. If you really wanted to see your son, you would try everything in your power to. You would make the necessary changes, you would do everything necessary. But you don't. You don't really give a damn. You just care about yourself. I haven't talked to him in months, maybe even a year. I changed my number and blocked him on facebook, so he had no way of contacting me. And I don't feel bad about that one bit.
Now, with just reading that and not knowing the back story behind why I have it this way, you may think that I'm being hypocritical and not letting him see his son.
Reality is, I have tried. Multiple times. He didn't show that he wanted it enough. He doesn't have to pay child support according to the state. I disagree with that. I think he should have to. My son is his child as well. Why do I have to do all the support and he doesn't have to do anything? I find it unfair. Michigan left visitation up to me and I said, "No money, no visitation." Call me a bitch, I don't care. I am the one that pays for every single thing for Kaiden. While I accept the responsibility and am not arguing that I shouldn't have to, I think it would be utterly ridiculous to allow him to see him whenever he wants and not have to pay a single penny for anything.
There is more behind my reasons why besides money.
I don't like his lifestyle. At all. It's absolutely NOT something I want my son around.
I don't like the anger issues he has. Although he has never once laid a hand on me and I honestly don't believe he would ever lay a hand on any of his children, I don't want my son exposed to the verbal lashing out.
If he would just stop getting upset over every time I said no and just listened to the reasons why, maybe he would be seeing his right now.
Okay, rant over.
Time to get my stress under control and quit freaking out inside.
I mean, I like that it isn't snow.
But I hate rain.
I don't like having to stay cooped up in my apartment when it's supposed to be the warmest day we have had in a while. I don't like getting my clothes wet.
So I'm stuck.
Well, last night pretty much sucked. For being the last home game, they didn't play all that well. It's like, okay we made the playoffs so we don't have to play so hard for the last two games. No. That's not how it goes. We already don't have home ice advantage and now we apparently want to play Boston instead of Pittsburgh? Aye. Even for the last home game of the regular season, play your hearts out and play like you did against Pitts for your fans! Your fans who have supported you through the ups and downs, been there anyways when it looked like you weren't going to make the playoffs.
It is what it is. They just better get it together before the playoffs and play hard!
Rain puts me in a bad mood. Unless there is sunshine out. But there's not, so I'm already in an irritated mood. I have a messy house and a few financial issues over my head that I wish I could shake away but I can't.
Being a single parent is extremely hard and I don't suggest it to anyone, not that anyone tries to be a single parent. But those of you who do have the father of your child trying their best to be involved in your child's life, those that do as much as they can for your child, don't be a dumbass bitch and always complain about that. Don't take it for granted. No matter what your relationship with the father may be, whether you guys get along or not, if he is sincerely trying his damn hardest to be there and help support your child emotionally, physically, financially, and every other kind of way, LET HIM! Don't be selfish.
My son's father always claims on his facebook that he "misses and loves" his children and whatnot. While he may think that he misses and loves them, he doesn't. At least not enough to count. If you really wanted to see your son, you would try everything in your power to. You would make the necessary changes, you would do everything necessary. But you don't. You don't really give a damn. You just care about yourself. I haven't talked to him in months, maybe even a year. I changed my number and blocked him on facebook, so he had no way of contacting me. And I don't feel bad about that one bit.
Now, with just reading that and not knowing the back story behind why I have it this way, you may think that I'm being hypocritical and not letting him see his son.
Reality is, I have tried. Multiple times. He didn't show that he wanted it enough. He doesn't have to pay child support according to the state. I disagree with that. I think he should have to. My son is his child as well. Why do I have to do all the support and he doesn't have to do anything? I find it unfair. Michigan left visitation up to me and I said, "No money, no visitation." Call me a bitch, I don't care. I am the one that pays for every single thing for Kaiden. While I accept the responsibility and am not arguing that I shouldn't have to, I think it would be utterly ridiculous to allow him to see him whenever he wants and not have to pay a single penny for anything.
There is more behind my reasons why besides money.
I don't like his lifestyle. At all. It's absolutely NOT something I want my son around.
I don't like the anger issues he has. Although he has never once laid a hand on me and I honestly don't believe he would ever lay a hand on any of his children, I don't want my son exposed to the verbal lashing out.
If he would just stop getting upset over every time I said no and just listened to the reasons why, maybe he would be seeing his right now.
Okay, rant over.
Time to get my stress under control and quit freaking out inside.
Friday, April 11, 2014
April 11, 2014
It. Is. BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE!!!
I am very sincerely loving this weather. It's kinda hard not to be in a bad mood when the sun is shining like this. Especially after a long and very harsh winter! I'm just so glad to see no more snow on the ground! Gimme this little taste of summer. It's only 68* right now! Loving it.
So today as I was delivering, I was thinking about how it's almost been 3 years since I had two jobs. When I took on the gas station while already working for my dad, I thought it wouldn't last very long with having two. Then, one year passed and two years passed...and now I just had my 3 year anniversary at my dad's and will in June at the gas station.
Not only have I worked two jobs for almost 3 years, but I have worked 3 jobs for almost 5 months!
I have cut back on hours lately and slowed it down so it doesn't really feel like much right now, but still. I never thought I would be able to work 3 jobs, yet I am and still going.
What I would really like though, is one, full time job that is between the hours of when Kaiden's school will start in the fall and when it gets out, so that I have the full weekends and nights with him.
So maybe, depends on where I'm working by then.
I may even go outside in a few minutes with my dog and wait for my father to get to his house where I am at so we can go to the game!
I may update later tonight after the game when we get back to the hotel room. If not, there's always tomorrow. :)
I am very sincerely loving this weather. It's kinda hard not to be in a bad mood when the sun is shining like this. Especially after a long and very harsh winter! I'm just so glad to see no more snow on the ground! Gimme this little taste of summer. It's only 68* right now! Loving it.
So today as I was delivering, I was thinking about how it's almost been 3 years since I had two jobs. When I took on the gas station while already working for my dad, I thought it wouldn't last very long with having two. Then, one year passed and two years passed...and now I just had my 3 year anniversary at my dad's and will in June at the gas station.
Not only have I worked two jobs for almost 3 years, but I have worked 3 jobs for almost 5 months!
I have cut back on hours lately and slowed it down so it doesn't really feel like much right now, but still. I never thought I would be able to work 3 jobs, yet I am and still going.
What I would really like though, is one, full time job that is between the hours of when Kaiden's school will start in the fall and when it gets out, so that I have the full weekends and nights with him.
So maybe, depends on where I'm working by then.
I may even go outside in a few minutes with my dog and wait for my father to get to his house where I am at so we can go to the game!
I may update later tonight after the game when we get back to the hotel room. If not, there's always tomorrow. :)
Thursday, April 10, 2014
April 10, 2014
Anybody that has worked a job where they depend on the tips will understand my frustration at the people out there who stiff or tip very small.
Now, please don't get me wrong and think that I am being greedy or ungrateful. That is definitely not the case.
Just please understand that my hourly pay is less than minimum wage and actually do depend on tips to get by until the next paycheck.
For me, delivering subs, I don't expect a $10 tip. Not even a $5 one. The average I would have to say is about $2-3, and that is just fine.
If I am using my own gas, adding extra wear and tear onto my car just to bring you one lonely sub and you don't tip...that just pisses me right the hell off. There is hardly a delivery charge on your food, the least you can do is give $1 if you want to be really cheap. If you can't afford to give a tip, you really shouldn't have used your last money on a sandwich.
We try the very best to get you your food as fast as possible.
No lie, I had this one delivery where it took me 9 minutes (I kept track because my PIC told me to get there as quick as possible) from the time she began to place her order to the time I walked back to my car from her house...and she gave me only 75 cents. Whuuuuuut.
Then, later that night, I had a delivery where it took me over 20 minutes because we were busy and I was the only driver, and he gave me a $5 tip.
I tip whoever and wherever based on their quickness, service, attitude, and knowledge.
I usually always tip 20% or more, depending on if I feel the 20% was too little.
I rarely stiff. But it does happen because their service was shit.
I depend on these tips to help. They are usually my gas money or spending money. Right now, it's going towards Kaiden's birthday and birthday party, then after, they will be going towards my vacation in California later on this summer.
There are others out there who depend on their tips for their bills and food, much more important than my tips.
Now, please don't get me wrong and think that I am being greedy or ungrateful. That is definitely not the case.
Just please understand that my hourly pay is less than minimum wage and actually do depend on tips to get by until the next paycheck.
For me, delivering subs, I don't expect a $10 tip. Not even a $5 one. The average I would have to say is about $2-3, and that is just fine.
If I am using my own gas, adding extra wear and tear onto my car just to bring you one lonely sub and you don't tip...that just pisses me right the hell off. There is hardly a delivery charge on your food, the least you can do is give $1 if you want to be really cheap. If you can't afford to give a tip, you really shouldn't have used your last money on a sandwich.
We try the very best to get you your food as fast as possible.
No lie, I had this one delivery where it took me 9 minutes (I kept track because my PIC told me to get there as quick as possible) from the time she began to place her order to the time I walked back to my car from her house...and she gave me only 75 cents. Whuuuuuut.
Then, later that night, I had a delivery where it took me over 20 minutes because we were busy and I was the only driver, and he gave me a $5 tip.
I tip whoever and wherever based on their quickness, service, attitude, and knowledge.
I usually always tip 20% or more, depending on if I feel the 20% was too little.
I rarely stiff. But it does happen because their service was shit.
I depend on these tips to help. They are usually my gas money or spending money. Right now, it's going towards Kaiden's birthday and birthday party, then after, they will be going towards my vacation in California later on this summer.
There are others out there who depend on their tips for their bills and food, much more important than my tips.
April 9, 2014 #2
Okay, I lied.
I did have deep thoughts today.
I know of a couple of ladies that let their husband/boyfriend/whatever treat them like crap, like less than a human being. It infuriates me. I just don't understand why a woman would allow herself to be put down all the time.
I guess maybe I can understand a bit...I used to be there. I allowed myself to be walked over by my ex boyfriends. I allowed myself to be talked down to, to be disrespected, to be used. All because I thought it was better than being alone.
Boy was I wrong!
I am no longer in such a position and I'm damn proud to say so!
No more will a man use his words to hurt me. God, please help him if he does!
No more will a man use me.
No more will a man disrespect me.
No more.
I'm so much more independent than when I last had a boyfriend...over 2 years ago.
Sometimes I feel okay about it, sometimes I hate it.
I've been told by a good friend who is like my little sister that I am a bitch when someone first meets me. She should know...we didn't like each other when she first starting working with me. Now, I just love her! But in all seriousness, I really am mean to new people I meet. I don't like eye contact, I don't like the change in meeting someone new. I feel weird. I feel like I can't really be who I am. I don't even know why.
I call it a defense mechanism.
I don't like new people getting close to me without knowing who they are.
If I am like this, how can I expect to meet my future mate?
So I know I have to learn to stop putting up those fences.
I expect to find a man who treats me as his equal, treats me with respect, understands that my money isn't for his wants.
This doesn't mean that I won't take care of my man, but it will be an equal partnership, a two way street. As long as one takes care of the other, it will be reciprocated.
Just my ideas.
I did have deep thoughts today.
I know of a couple of ladies that let their husband/boyfriend/whatever treat them like crap, like less than a human being. It infuriates me. I just don't understand why a woman would allow herself to be put down all the time.
I guess maybe I can understand a bit...I used to be there. I allowed myself to be walked over by my ex boyfriends. I allowed myself to be talked down to, to be disrespected, to be used. All because I thought it was better than being alone.
Boy was I wrong!
I am no longer in such a position and I'm damn proud to say so!
No more will a man use his words to hurt me. God, please help him if he does!
No more will a man use me.
No more will a man disrespect me.
No more.
I'm so much more independent than when I last had a boyfriend...over 2 years ago.
Sometimes I feel okay about it, sometimes I hate it.
I've been told by a good friend who is like my little sister that I am a bitch when someone first meets me. She should know...we didn't like each other when she first starting working with me. Now, I just love her! But in all seriousness, I really am mean to new people I meet. I don't like eye contact, I don't like the change in meeting someone new. I feel weird. I feel like I can't really be who I am. I don't even know why.
I call it a defense mechanism.
I don't like new people getting close to me without knowing who they are.
If I am like this, how can I expect to meet my future mate?
So I know I have to learn to stop putting up those fences.
I expect to find a man who treats me as his equal, treats me with respect, understands that my money isn't for his wants.
This doesn't mean that I won't take care of my man, but it will be an equal partnership, a two way street. As long as one takes care of the other, it will be reciprocated.
Just my ideas.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
April 9, 2014
As I am writing this, I am also watching the game that clinched the Red Wings to a berth in their 23rd consecutive playoff appearance!!
So, I'm clearly very happy and this game is in OT now, meaning that we had only needed one point to get into the playoffs and we got that! It's now going into a shootout. Because I know that a lot of my readers like reading about the Wings. Haha, hey, it's a huge part of my life!
Today wasn't really much and I hadn't really had deep thoughts today. I don't really think I had much time to really deep think. I was woken up earlier than my alarm, and then got a call from the gas station to help out with the big order of the groceries because the store had done a reset and a lot of new stuff had to be ordered. After that, I did a few running around errands for my dad, then headed over to Jimmy John's to work another Wednesday night.
So it's just been a long work day for me.
Shootout time:
Penguins Neal: MISS
Detroit Alfredsson: MISS
Penguins Crosby: MISS
Detroit Datsyuk: MISS
Penguins Jokinen: SCORE
Now, it's up to Detroit! Tatar better score!!!
Detroit Tatar: MISS
Ughhh. Damnnn.
But hey! Red Wings made the playoffs!! I'll take that over winning a shootout!
Now, I'm gunna go dye my hair. Because, well, I've honestly been putting it off soooooooo.
Until tomorrow. :)
So, I'm clearly very happy and this game is in OT now, meaning that we had only needed one point to get into the playoffs and we got that! It's now going into a shootout. Because I know that a lot of my readers like reading about the Wings. Haha, hey, it's a huge part of my life!
Today wasn't really much and I hadn't really had deep thoughts today. I don't really think I had much time to really deep think. I was woken up earlier than my alarm, and then got a call from the gas station to help out with the big order of the groceries because the store had done a reset and a lot of new stuff had to be ordered. After that, I did a few running around errands for my dad, then headed over to Jimmy John's to work another Wednesday night.
So it's just been a long work day for me.
Shootout time:
Penguins Neal: MISS
Detroit Alfredsson: MISS
Penguins Crosby: MISS
Detroit Datsyuk: MISS
Penguins Jokinen: SCORE
Now, it's up to Detroit! Tatar better score!!!
Detroit Tatar: MISS
Ughhh. Damnnn.
But hey! Red Wings made the playoffs!! I'll take that over winning a shootout!
Now, I'm gunna go dye my hair. Because, well, I've honestly been putting it off soooooooo.
Until tomorrow. :)
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
April 8, 2014
I miss my baby boy today.
I usually do everyday.
Even when he gets on my last nerve.
I can't imagine my life without his sweet smiles and little wonderful embraces.
My kid, he's sure one of a kind.
Given his circumstances with growing up with no dad, he's doing more splendid that I thought he would. It doesn't even bother him that he doesn't have a dad and his other friends do.
One day, he will meet his dad. But for right now, it's not the best time or in his best interest to have him involved.
My son has so many hopes and dreams, as I do for him as well.
He always tells me that he wants to play for the Detroit Red Wings.
Many people may think that I pushed him into wanting to do that, and I admit I have joked about it a few times with him...but he came to that idea on his own. He watches the hockey games with me once in a while, and even just went to his first Red Wings games a few weeks ago. He had such a blast and enjoyed it a lot more than I thought he would.
In addition to wanting to be a hockey player, he also wants to play soccer and baseball.
I want him to learn karate.
He enjoys art and writing.
He loves acting out shows.
He loves to run and play on the playground like most children.
His favorite color has been red, but most recently turned to blue and green.
Ninjago is one of his favorite shows and he loves playing with legos.
He is so funny and loves to make people laugh and smile.
He wants his room to be painted in the same Maize and Blue as Michigan.
He does so well in school and daycare and has quite a bit of friends.
I could honestly go on and on about my wonderful and sweet boy.
However, I am at work and need to give the computer back to my dad's secretary, soooo...the bragging of my child needs to wait for another time.
Until then.
<3
I usually do everyday.
Even when he gets on my last nerve.
I can't imagine my life without his sweet smiles and little wonderful embraces.
My kid, he's sure one of a kind.
Given his circumstances with growing up with no dad, he's doing more splendid that I thought he would. It doesn't even bother him that he doesn't have a dad and his other friends do.
One day, he will meet his dad. But for right now, it's not the best time or in his best interest to have him involved.
My son has so many hopes and dreams, as I do for him as well.
He always tells me that he wants to play for the Detroit Red Wings.
Many people may think that I pushed him into wanting to do that, and I admit I have joked about it a few times with him...but he came to that idea on his own. He watches the hockey games with me once in a while, and even just went to his first Red Wings games a few weeks ago. He had such a blast and enjoyed it a lot more than I thought he would.
In addition to wanting to be a hockey player, he also wants to play soccer and baseball.
I want him to learn karate.
He enjoys art and writing.
He loves acting out shows.
He loves to run and play on the playground like most children.
His favorite color has been red, but most recently turned to blue and green.
Ninjago is one of his favorite shows and he loves playing with legos.
He is so funny and loves to make people laugh and smile.
He wants his room to be painted in the same Maize and Blue as Michigan.
He does so well in school and daycare and has quite a bit of friends.
I could honestly go on and on about my wonderful and sweet boy.
However, I am at work and need to give the computer back to my dad's secretary, soooo...the bragging of my child needs to wait for another time.
Until then.
<3
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