Positivity. It's a strong thing. Sometimes though, it's hard to hold on to when so many negative things are rushing through your mind. Positivity is hard to maintain when you are in a weak spot where the devil just wants to grab a hold of you and keep you down on his level.
I still don't like who I am.
I still think I'm one of the ugliest people alive.
I still don't think I'm worth all that much.
Hopefully, that will soon change.
I'm probably the most impatient person I know.
I don't waiting for anything.
I get major anxiety when I have to wait.
I have incredible road rage. I hate driving, yet I'm a delivery driver. I will say that I do control my rage when I am working, so don't worry!
I just feel that I am so ready for someone to love me and help me through my life.
I may act strong at times to a lot of people, but to be frankly honest, I really am not.
I am not that strong.
People give me more credit than I deserve. I'm barely hanging on. Crying is something that happens weekly, not daily, but almost.
I'm just doing what I have to do. It's not enough. I'm not trying much hard at work anymore because I am so tired of working. I almost hate it because I used to do it so much. I only get about 10 hours a week at each job now. Unfortunately, I have to go back to working so hard that I get back to being so sick of work. It sucks that it feels like I have to choose between work and my son. =\
I'm in a bit of a better mood. Not the best. But decent.
Sorry for this. But I warned you in the beginning that this is a roller coaster. It's definitely a ride.
Until Later.
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