I had another one of those "boyfriend" dreams. But this was kind of different than the others. I mean, it started out like the same...I'm sincerely happy with this wonderful guy who accepts Kaiden and I the way we are. There's more to it though. It was like I was sending a message to myself? In my dream I was trying to take a selfie (yeah I kind of do those a lot) and I was saying out loud but trying to type it out, "I just have to be happy with myself before being happy with someone else."
I hear that a lot.
I don't like to admit it because I really haven't liked myself for just about all of my life. I never liked the way I looked, talked, walked, everything about me. But there has to be something about me that's good, because I do have a few best friends who have stuck by me, dealt with me, never left my side through anything for the past 10+ years.
I always truly felt that I can't be happy with myself until someone loves me and shows me that I'm worth loving.
And people have. Just not in the way I was counting on.
My son, first and foremost. He loves me no matter what I do, say, or look like. He has unconditional love for me and it's pure.
My best friends, secondly. Like I mentioned above, for some reason they have stuck with me for so many years.
One day, I will meet my soul mate, the one I'm supposed to be with. I'm honestly hoping it's this year. I feel this year is going to be the best year. I just feel it.
In my dream as well, I was on this beach and I was trying to write the date in the sand. It was October...so who knows?
God works in mysterious ways for sure. I just have to have unwavering faith in His plan for Kaiden and I.
<3
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