I know I haven't posted in the past couple of days but it is because I didn't really feel like I had much to say. I finally do, and buckle up because this is going to be a long post.
After my friend said something on facebook about people having more kids that they can't take care of, or along those lines, it made me want to look on a certain someone's profile.
Yes, I'm talking about my own deadbeat baby daddy.
And I have to be completely honest with you guys...I found it quite hilarious!
First off, many, many times he says, "daddy misses you kids, daddy loves you."
First glance is "Aweee, he loves his kids! What a good father!"
But TRUTH: "Aweee, how delusional he is! He doesn't even know his own kids!"
What's worse, is that he's having a FOURTH child!
He changed his profile picture to one of my son. Okay.
Someone asked him who the boy was and how old.
"He's going to be six and his name is Kayden."
Uhh, what?
Kaiden is not even five yet, and it's spelled KAIDEN.
Moving on, he talks many time about being so high and drunk. Well I know weed and alcohol aren't that cheap, especially if you do it all the time. So, you can afford drugs, but you can't afford anything for any of your three children?
And then, he always talks about wanting to hurt someone so bad that he would land in jail.
He's always getting so mad and angry at the world.
Always talks about giving up.
He also always talks about seeing his kids.
Like what attempt has he made the past two years to see my child?
Nada. Zip. Zilch.
And apparently, if he had his three other kids, he would move down to Mississippi.
As IF you would ever have your three other kids.
Especially not mine.
He gave his fiancée a black eye.
What makes me think that my child would not get a black eye from him?
Everything I see on his facebook...everything makes me know that I made the RIGHT decision to not have him involved in Kaiden's life.
He will NEVER get Kaiden.
On his life.
This is all hilarious to me.
He is so delusional.
Like, how can you go years without talking or seeing your children, but then think that you would ever get custody of any of them and move down south?
What kind of mentality do you have? What kind of world do you live in?
I just don't understand.
You keep wanting to know why I won't let you see my child?
Look at your facebook a moment. Every single part of it.
I'm just BLOWN away by the high amount of STUPIDITY and lack of SENSE that you have. It honestly AMAZES me. I don't know what the (insert choice words) I was thinking!! The ONLY good thing that came out of dating you was my wonderful, amazing, sweet, NOTHING LIKE YOU, little man that is my entire world.
But no matter how hard being a single parent is...I gotta tell you, I don't wish you were involved AT ALL.
Just wow.
Absolutely WOW.
That will be all for right now.
But I guarantee you, I am far from done. You will hear more on this matter in the future.
Friday, April 25, 2014
Monday, April 21, 2014
100 Truths.
100 Truths!
ORIGINAL (September 25, 2011)
1. Last beverage → Cherry Dr. Pepper.
2. Last phone call→ Laura.
3. Last text message→ Josh.
5. Last time you cried→ Friday.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice → Yeahh.
7. Been cheated on? → Ohh yeahh.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? → No.
9. Lost someone special? → Ohh yess. :(
10. Been depressed? → Mhmm.
11. Ate too much? → Of course!
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Red
13. Purple
14. Black
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Have you made new friends this year → Ohh yess. :)
16. Fallen out of love → Not this year.
17. Laughed until you cried → LASTNIGHT!
18. Met someone who changed you → Yessuh. :)
19. Found out who your true friends were → Ohh yeahh.
20. Found out someone was talking about you → Of course.
21. Kissed anyone on your top friends list? → Haha what is this from, myspace?
TRUTH:
23. What time did you wake up → 9 something.
24. Do you have any pets → At my mom's...but i still consider Kitty and Lady as my pets. :)
25. Do you want to change your name→ Nahh.
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ Spent it with my son. :)
27. How many kids do you want to have→ Like 2 or 3. Already got 1. :)
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ At Steph's house.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for → My 21st and ORLANDO in April with Kaiden and Taylor and Dom and possibly Syd!!!
30. Last time you saw your father→ Friday before he went out of town.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → A couple of things...but not too much.
32. What are you listening to right now? → The sounds from the movie Cars.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Yuhhh. He's our fix it guy at work. :)
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? → Umm...nothing at the moment.
36. What’s your real name → Olivia Renee Brown.
38. Zodiac sign: → Scorpio.
39. Male or female→ Female.
40. Elementary School→ Parkview, Taft, Vanguard.
41. Middle School → Vanguard, Grandville.
42. High school → Grandville.
43. Hair color → Blonde.
44. Long or short → Midlength.
45. Height → 5 foot five.
46. Do you have a crush on someone? Yessssssir.
47. What do you like about yourself? I am a hardworker.
48. Piercing → Ears.
49. Tattoos → None but want one with Kaiden's name and birthdate.
50. Righty or lefty → Rightttty.
FIRSTS:
51. First surgery → C-section.
52. First piercing → Ears.
53. First tattoo → None.
54. First best friend → Jenea.
55. First sport you joined → Cheerleading.
56. First pet → First one that I remember...would be Scooter and Trouble.
57. First vacation→ Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.
58. First concert→
59. First crush --> Umm don't remember.
60. First alcohol drink→ Absolut Limon.
RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → Nothing.
62. Drinking → Nothing.
63. I'm about to → Uhh idk.
64. Listening to→ Samething as before.
65. Waiting for → Somebody to wake up so I can text him. :)
YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? Yes!
67. Want to get married? Mhmmm.
68. Careers in mind: Manager of a J&H gas station or somewhere else.
WHICH IS BETTER IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes → Eyes.
70. Hugs or kisses → Both.
71. Shorter or taller → Tallerrr.
72. Older or Younger → Older.
73. Romantic or spontaneous → Romantic.
74. Nice stomach or nice arms → Doesn't matter.
75. Tattoos or piercings→ Mmm both.
76. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive.
77. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Hesitant.
HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger → No.
80. Lost a cell Phone → I always find it.
81. Lost contacts/glasses→ Haha umm yeahh.
82. Sex on first date → No.
83. Broken someone's heart → Not suree.
84. Had your own heart broken → Ohh yess.
85. Been skydiving → Nope.
86. Turned someone down → Yes.
87. Cried when someone died → Of coursee.
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? → As a friend or sister.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → Sometimes.
90. Miracles → Yes.
91. Love at first sight → No. You can't truly love someone until you know them and you cant know them based upon first look. You just love the way they look at first.
92. Heaven → Yupp! :)
93. Santa Claus → No.
94. Kissing on the first date? → If you both really feel it.
95. Angels → Yes. :)
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yeahhhhh. He knows who he is. :)
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → Nope.
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever? → Ohh it's VERY possible. It's a choice of whether you want to or not.
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? → My Kaiden. <3
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? → No.
NEW!
1. Last beverage → Just now water.
2. Last phone call→ Kaity calling from work.
3. Last text message→ My mother.
5. Last time you cried→ Today.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice → Yeahh.
7. Been cheated on? → Ohh yeahh.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? → No.
9. Lost someone special? → Ohh yess. :(
10. Been depressed? → Mhmm.
11. Ate too much? → Of course!
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Red
13. Purple
14. Black
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Have you made new friends this year → Yes, yes I have.
16. Fallen out of love → Not this year.
17. Laughed until you cried → Hahaah ohh I think probably with Heather almost a month ago.
18. Met someone who changed you → No.
19. Found out who your true friends were → Nope.
20. Found out someone was talking about you → Always.
21. Kissed anyone on your top friends list? → Hahah there is no top friends list.
TRUTH:
23. What time did you wake up → 6:45am.
24. Do you have any pets → Kitty and Lady at my parents, and Tatyana at my home. :)
25. Do you want to change your name→ Ehh. Indifferent.
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ Spent it with my son. :)
27. How many kids do you want to have→ Like 2 or 3. Already got 1. :)
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ Trying to fall asleep.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for → Georgia and California!!
30. Last time you saw your father→ Today!
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → My view on myself.
32. What are you listening to right now? → Now the Dallas/Anaheim Stanley Cup Playoff game.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Yupp.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? → "Mama look" every two minutes.
36. What’s your real name → Olivia Renee Brown.
38. Zodiac sign: → Scorpio.
39. Male or female→ Female.
40. Elementary School→ Parkview, Taft, Vanguard.
41. Middle School → Vanguard, Grandville.
42. High school → Grandville.
43. Hair color → Blonde/Auburn.
44. Long or short → Midlength.
45. Height → 5 foot five.
46. Do you have a crush on someone? Sorta, yeah.
47. What do you like about yourself? The love I have for my son.
48. Piercing → Ears.
49. Tattoos → None but want 3.
50. Righty or lefty → Right.
FIRSTS:
51. First surgery → C-section.
52. First piercing → Ears.
53. First tattoo → None.
54. First best friend → Jenea.
55. First sport you joined → Cheerleading.
56. First pet → First one that I remember...would be Scooter and Trouble.
57. First vacation→ Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.
58. First concert→ Birthday Bash has to count. :)
59. First crush --> Umm don't remember.
60. First alcohol drink→ Absolut Limon.
RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → Nothing.
62. Drinking → Water.
63. I'm about to → Not sure yet.
64. Listening to→ Samething as before.
65. Waiting for → Bedtime!
YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? Yes!
67. Want to get married? Mhmmm.
68. Careers in mind: Daycare Director or Public Relations in Media for the Detroit Red Wings
WHICH IS BETTER IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes → Eyes.
70. Hugs or kisses → Both.
71. Shorter or taller → Taller.
72. Older or Younger → Older.
73. Romantic or spontaneous → Romantic.
74. Nice stomach or nice arms → Doesn't matter.
75. Tattoos or piercings→ Mmm both.
76. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive.
77. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Hesitant.
HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger → Yes..
80. Lost a cell Phone → I always find it.
81. Lost contacts/glasses→ Lol yeah.
82. Sex on first date → I never really had a date.
83. Broken someone's heart → Not suree.
84. Had your own heart broken → Ohh yess.
85. Been skydiving → Nope.
86. Turned someone down → Yes.
87. Cried when someone died → Of coursee.
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? → As a friend or sister.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → Sometimes.
90. Miracles → Yes.
91. Love at first sight → No. You can't truly love someone until you know them and you cant know them based upon first look. You just love the way they look at first.
92. Heaven → Yupp! :)
93. Santa Claus → No.
94. Kissing on the first date? → If you both really feel it.
95. Angels → Yes. :)
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Lol I think so.
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → Nope.
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever? → Ohh it's VERY possible. It's a choice of whether you want to or not.
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? → My Kaiden. <3
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? → Lol yes
ORIGINAL (September 25, 2011)
1. Last beverage → Cherry Dr. Pepper.
2. Last phone call→ Laura.
3. Last text message→ Josh.
5. Last time you cried→ Friday.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice → Yeahh.
7. Been cheated on? → Ohh yeahh.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? → No.
9. Lost someone special? → Ohh yess. :(
10. Been depressed? → Mhmm.
11. Ate too much? → Of course!
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Red
13. Purple
14. Black
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Have you made new friends this year → Ohh yess. :)
16. Fallen out of love → Not this year.
17. Laughed until you cried → LASTNIGHT!
18. Met someone who changed you → Yessuh. :)
19. Found out who your true friends were → Ohh yeahh.
20. Found out someone was talking about you → Of course.
21. Kissed anyone on your top friends list? → Haha what is this from, myspace?
TRUTH:
23. What time did you wake up → 9 something.
24. Do you have any pets → At my mom's...but i still consider Kitty and Lady as my pets. :)
25. Do you want to change your name→ Nahh.
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ Spent it with my son. :)
27. How many kids do you want to have→ Like 2 or 3. Already got 1. :)
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ At Steph's house.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for → My 21st and ORLANDO in April with Kaiden and Taylor and Dom and possibly Syd!!!
30. Last time you saw your father→ Friday before he went out of town.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → A couple of things...but not too much.
32. What are you listening to right now? → The sounds from the movie Cars.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Yuhhh. He's our fix it guy at work. :)
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? → Umm...nothing at the moment.
36. What’s your real name → Olivia Renee Brown.
38. Zodiac sign: → Scorpio.
39. Male or female→ Female.
40. Elementary School→ Parkview, Taft, Vanguard.
41. Middle School → Vanguard, Grandville.
42. High school → Grandville.
43. Hair color → Blonde.
44. Long or short → Midlength.
45. Height → 5 foot five.
46. Do you have a crush on someone? Yessssssir.
47. What do you like about yourself? I am a hardworker.
48. Piercing → Ears.
49. Tattoos → None but want one with Kaiden's name and birthdate.
50. Righty or lefty → Rightttty.
FIRSTS:
51. First surgery → C-section.
52. First piercing → Ears.
53. First tattoo → None.
54. First best friend → Jenea.
55. First sport you joined → Cheerleading.
56. First pet → First one that I remember...would be Scooter and Trouble.
57. First vacation→ Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.
58. First concert→
59. First crush --> Umm don't remember.
60. First alcohol drink→ Absolut Limon.
RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → Nothing.
62. Drinking → Nothing.
63. I'm about to → Uhh idk.
64. Listening to→ Samething as before.
65. Waiting for → Somebody to wake up so I can text him. :)
YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? Yes!
67. Want to get married? Mhmmm.
68. Careers in mind: Manager of a J&H gas station or somewhere else.
WHICH IS BETTER IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes → Eyes.
70. Hugs or kisses → Both.
71. Shorter or taller → Tallerrr.
72. Older or Younger → Older.
73. Romantic or spontaneous → Romantic.
74. Nice stomach or nice arms → Doesn't matter.
75. Tattoos or piercings→ Mmm both.
76. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive.
77. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Hesitant.
HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger → No.
80. Lost a cell Phone → I always find it.
81. Lost contacts/glasses→ Haha umm yeahh.
82. Sex on first date → No.
83. Broken someone's heart → Not suree.
84. Had your own heart broken → Ohh yess.
85. Been skydiving → Nope.
86. Turned someone down → Yes.
87. Cried when someone died → Of coursee.
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? → As a friend or sister.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → Sometimes.
90. Miracles → Yes.
91. Love at first sight → No. You can't truly love someone until you know them and you cant know them based upon first look. You just love the way they look at first.
92. Heaven → Yupp! :)
93. Santa Claus → No.
94. Kissing on the first date? → If you both really feel it.
95. Angels → Yes. :)
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yeahhhhh. He knows who he is. :)
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → Nope.
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever? → Ohh it's VERY possible. It's a choice of whether you want to or not.
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? → My Kaiden. <3
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? → No.
NEW!
1. Last beverage → Just now water.
2. Last phone call→ Kaity calling from work.
3. Last text message→ My mother.
5. Last time you cried→ Today.
HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice → Yeahh.
7. Been cheated on? → Ohh yeahh.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it? → No.
9. Lost someone special? → Ohh yess. :(
10. Been depressed? → Mhmm.
11. Ate too much? → Of course!
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. Red
13. Purple
14. Black
THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Have you made new friends this year → Yes, yes I have.
16. Fallen out of love → Not this year.
17. Laughed until you cried → Hahaah ohh I think probably with Heather almost a month ago.
18. Met someone who changed you → No.
19. Found out who your true friends were → Nope.
20. Found out someone was talking about you → Always.
21. Kissed anyone on your top friends list? → Hahah there is no top friends list.
TRUTH:
23. What time did you wake up → 6:45am.
24. Do you have any pets → Kitty and Lady at my parents, and Tatyana at my home. :)
25. Do you want to change your name→ Ehh. Indifferent.
26. What did you do for your last birthday→ Spent it with my son. :)
27. How many kids do you want to have→ Like 2 or 3. Already got 1. :)
28. What were you doing at midnight last night→ Trying to fall asleep.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for → Georgia and California!!
30. Last time you saw your father→ Today!
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life → My view on myself.
32. What are you listening to right now? → Now the Dallas/Anaheim Stanley Cup Playoff game.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom → Yupp.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now? → "Mama look" every two minutes.
36. What’s your real name → Olivia Renee Brown.
38. Zodiac sign: → Scorpio.
39. Male or female→ Female.
40. Elementary School→ Parkview, Taft, Vanguard.
41. Middle School → Vanguard, Grandville.
42. High school → Grandville.
43. Hair color → Blonde/Auburn.
44. Long or short → Midlength.
45. Height → 5 foot five.
46. Do you have a crush on someone? Sorta, yeah.
47. What do you like about yourself? The love I have for my son.
48. Piercing → Ears.
49. Tattoos → None but want 3.
50. Righty or lefty → Right.
FIRSTS:
51. First surgery → C-section.
52. First piercing → Ears.
53. First tattoo → None.
54. First best friend → Jenea.
55. First sport you joined → Cheerleading.
56. First pet → First one that I remember...would be Scooter and Trouble.
57. First vacation→ Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.
58. First concert→ Birthday Bash has to count. :)
59. First crush --> Umm don't remember.
60. First alcohol drink→ Absolut Limon.
RIGHT NOW:
61. Eating → Nothing.
62. Drinking → Water.
63. I'm about to → Not sure yet.
64. Listening to→ Samething as before.
65. Waiting for → Bedtime!
YOUR FUTURE :
66. Want kids? Yes!
67. Want to get married? Mhmmm.
68. Careers in mind: Daycare Director or Public Relations in Media for the Detroit Red Wings
WHICH IS BETTER IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
69. Lips or eyes → Eyes.
70. Hugs or kisses → Both.
71. Shorter or taller → Taller.
72. Older or Younger → Older.
73. Romantic or spontaneous → Romantic.
74. Nice stomach or nice arms → Doesn't matter.
75. Tattoos or piercings→ Mmm both.
76. Sensitive or loud → Sensitive.
77. Hook-up or relationship → Relationship.
78. Trouble maker or hesitant→ Hesitant.
HAVE YOU EVER :
79. Kissed a stranger → Yes..
80. Lost a cell Phone → I always find it.
81. Lost contacts/glasses→ Lol yeah.
82. Sex on first date → I never really had a date.
83. Broken someone's heart → Not suree.
84. Had your own heart broken → Ohh yess.
85. Been skydiving → Nope.
86. Turned someone down → Yes.
87. Cried when someone died → Of coursee.
88. Liked a friend that is a girl? → As a friend or sister.
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
89. Yourself → Sometimes.
90. Miracles → Yes.
91. Love at first sight → No. You can't truly love someone until you know them and you cant know them based upon first look. You just love the way they look at first.
92. Heaven → Yupp! :)
93. Santa Claus → No.
94. Kissing on the first date? → If you both really feel it.
95. Angels → Yes. :)
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
96. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Lol I think so.
97. Had more than one boyfriend/girlfriend at one time? → Nope.
98. Do you believe its possible to remain faithful forever? → Ohh it's VERY possible. It's a choice of whether you want to or not.
99. What's the one thing you cannot live without? → My Kaiden. <3
100. Posting this as 100 Truths? → Lol yes
ABC'S
ORIGINAL (July 9, 2011)
A - AVAILABLE: Technically speaking, yes. But kinda not. :)
B - BIRTHDAY: November 3rd.
C - CRUSHING ON: Ohh somebody. :)
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Orange bug juice drink.
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Depends on the subject really...
F - FAVORITE SONG: Dirt Road Anthem by Jason Aldean; International Harvester by Craig Morgan.
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Worms.
H – HOMETOWN: Grandville.
I - IN LOVE WITH: No one at the moment as in relationship. Otherwise, my son!
K - KILLED SOMEONE: Nopee.
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Florida.
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Chocolate.
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 3.
O - ONE WISH: Kaiden has a dad one day...one that will love him.
P- PERSON THAT CALLED YOU LAST: Laura.
R - REASON TO SMILE: Always my son. :)
S - SONG YOU LAST SANG: International Harvester by Craig Morgan
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 5:freaking45 am.
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: Blue.
V - WORST HABIT: Swearing.
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Knee, wrist.
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio
RANDOM QUESTIONS!!!
Spell your name without vowels: lv brwn
What color do you wear most?: umm...idk. prolly the neon green for work haha.
Least favorite colors?: brown. grey.
What are you listening to?: Angelina Ballerina. haha.
What is your favorite class in school?: Spanish.
When do you start back at school/college? prolly next winter again...
Are you outgoing? Not really....
Favorite pair of shoes? Flip Flops.
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: Nope.
Can you whistle?: Naww.
Cross your eyes?: Umm yeahh.
Walk with your toes curled?: Mhm.
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: Not sure.
Do you believe in miracles? Yupp.
Do you believe in magic? Not really.
Love at first sight? No, I think it's always lust at first sight...then love comes when you get to know them.
Do you believe in Santa? Hells yeahhh! jk
Do you like roller coasters? Loveee em.
Have you ever been on a plane? Nope.
Have you ever been asked out by someone? Yeahhh.
Do you play any instruments? Used to play the flute.
NEW!
A - AVAILABLE: Yupp.
B - BIRTHDAY: November 3rd.
C - CRUSHING ON: Haha, no way am I saying right now.
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: V8 Fusion Energy Drink- Peach Mango.
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: I'd say it still depends on the topic.
F - FAVORITE SONG: This is How We Roll- Florida Georgia Line. <3
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Worms.
H – HOMETOWN: Grandville.
I - IN LOVE WITH: No one. Except, as always, my son.
K - KILLED SOMEONE: About that...haha no, just kidding!
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Florida.
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Chocolate.
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 3.
O - ONE WISH: Kaiden has a dad one day...one that will love him.
P- PERSON THAT CALLED YOU LAST: Kaity.
R - REASON TO SMILE: Always my son. :)
S - SONG YOU LAST SANG: Umm, I don't remember.
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 6:45am
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: Hot Pink
V - WORST HABIT: Swearing.
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Both knee, wrist, ankle
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio
RANDOM QUESTIONS!!!
Spell your name without vowels: lv brwn
What color do you wear most?: Red
Least favorite colors?: brown. grey.
What are you listening to?: Stanley Cup Playoffs- Game #3 Columbus/Pittsburgh
What is your favorite class in school?: Not in school right now.
When do you start back at school/college? Hoping next fall if I can afford it.
Are you outgoing? Not really....
Favorite pair of shoes? Flip Flops.
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: Nope.
Can you whistle?: Naww.
Cross your eyes?: Umm yeahh.
Walk with your toes curled?: Mhm.
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: Not sure.
Do you believe in miracles? Yupp.
Do you believe in magic? Not really.
Love at first sight? No, I think it's always lust at first sight...then love comes when you get to know them.
Do you believe in Santa? Lol no.
Do you like roller coasters? Loveee em.
Have you ever been on a plane? Nope.
Have you ever been asked out by someone? Yeahhh.
Do you play any instruments? Used to play the flute.
A - AVAILABLE: Technically speaking, yes. But kinda not. :)
B - BIRTHDAY: November 3rd.
C - CRUSHING ON: Ohh somebody. :)
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: Orange bug juice drink.
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: Depends on the subject really...
F - FAVORITE SONG: Dirt Road Anthem by Jason Aldean; International Harvester by Craig Morgan.
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Worms.
H – HOMETOWN: Grandville.
I - IN LOVE WITH: No one at the moment as in relationship. Otherwise, my son!
K - KILLED SOMEONE: Nopee.
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Florida.
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Chocolate.
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 3.
O - ONE WISH: Kaiden has a dad one day...one that will love him.
P- PERSON THAT CALLED YOU LAST: Laura.
R - REASON TO SMILE: Always my son. :)
S - SONG YOU LAST SANG: International Harvester by Craig Morgan
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 5:freaking45 am.
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: Blue.
V - WORST HABIT: Swearing.
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Knee, wrist.
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio
RANDOM QUESTIONS!!!
Spell your name without vowels: lv brwn
What color do you wear most?: umm...idk. prolly the neon green for work haha.
Least favorite colors?: brown. grey.
What are you listening to?: Angelina Ballerina. haha.
What is your favorite class in school?: Spanish.
When do you start back at school/college? prolly next winter again...
Are you outgoing? Not really....
Favorite pair of shoes? Flip Flops.
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: Nope.
Can you whistle?: Naww.
Cross your eyes?: Umm yeahh.
Walk with your toes curled?: Mhm.
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: Not sure.
Do you believe in miracles? Yupp.
Do you believe in magic? Not really.
Love at first sight? No, I think it's always lust at first sight...then love comes when you get to know them.
Do you believe in Santa? Hells yeahhh! jk
Do you like roller coasters? Loveee em.
Have you ever been on a plane? Nope.
Have you ever been asked out by someone? Yeahhh.
Do you play any instruments? Used to play the flute.
NEW!
A - AVAILABLE: Yupp.
B - BIRTHDAY: November 3rd.
C - CRUSHING ON: Haha, no way am I saying right now.
D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: V8 Fusion Energy Drink- Peach Mango.
E - EASIEST PERSON TO TALK TO: I'd say it still depends on the topic.
F - FAVORITE SONG: This is How We Roll- Florida Georgia Line. <3
G - GUMMY BEARS OR GUMMY WORMS: Worms.
H – HOMETOWN: Grandville.
I - IN LOVE WITH: No one. Except, as always, my son.
K - KILLED SOMEONE: About that...haha no, just kidding!
L - LONGEST CAR RIDE: Florida.
M- MILKSHAKE FLAVOR: Chocolate.
N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 3.
O - ONE WISH: Kaiden has a dad one day...one that will love him.
P- PERSON THAT CALLED YOU LAST: Kaity.
R - REASON TO SMILE: Always my son. :)
S - SONG YOU LAST SANG: Umm, I don't remember.
T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 6:45am
U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: Hot Pink
V - WORST HABIT: Swearing.
X - X-RAYS YOU'VE HAD: Both knee, wrist, ankle
Z - ZODIAC SIGN: Scorpio
RANDOM QUESTIONS!!!
Spell your name without vowels: lv brwn
What color do you wear most?: Red
Least favorite colors?: brown. grey.
What are you listening to?: Stanley Cup Playoffs- Game #3 Columbus/Pittsburgh
What is your favorite class in school?: Not in school right now.
When do you start back at school/college? Hoping next fall if I can afford it.
Are you outgoing? Not really....
Favorite pair of shoes? Flip Flops.
Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: Nope.
Can you whistle?: Naww.
Cross your eyes?: Umm yeahh.
Walk with your toes curled?: Mhm.
Do you believe there is life on other planets?: Not sure.
Do you believe in miracles? Yupp.
Do you believe in magic? Not really.
Love at first sight? No, I think it's always lust at first sight...then love comes when you get to know them.
Do you believe in Santa? Lol no.
Do you like roller coasters? Loveee em.
Have you ever been on a plane? Nope.
Have you ever been asked out by someone? Yeahhh.
Do you play any instruments? Used to play the flute.
You Belong With Me. (Music)
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
ORIGINAL! (March 5, 2011)
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Gives You Hell. -All American Rejects
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
In Too Deep. -Sum 41
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Hey Baby (Drop it to the floor). -Pitbull ft. T pain
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
This Is Me. -Demi Lovato nad Joe Jonas.
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Simple Things. -Rodney Atkins.
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Shape Of My Heart. -Backstreet Boys.
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
So Bad. -Eminem.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Innocence- Avril Lavigne
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Black and Yellow- Wiz Kahlifa.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Cold Wind Blows- Eminem
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
It's America. -Rodney Atkins.
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Tearin' Up My Heart- N*Sync
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Kiss N Tell. -Ke$ha.
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Hungover. -Ke$ha.
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Keep Holding On- Avril Lavigne
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Kryptonite- 3 Doors Down.
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Dancing With Tears In My Eyes- Ke$ha
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Tik Tok- Ke$ha
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Space Bound- Eminem
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Secondchance- Shinedown
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
When It's My Time. -Rodney Atkins
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
I Don't Wanna Be In Love (Dancefloor Anthem)- Good Charlotte
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Lover, Lover- Jarrod Niemann
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Love Like Woe- The Ready Set
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
I Miss You- Miley Cyrus
(Most definately. The song to my grandma.)
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Club Can't Handle Me- Flo Rida ft. David Guetta
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Boots and Boys- Ke$ha.
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Here Without You- 3 Doors Down
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Breathe (2 AM)- Anna Nalick
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Party At A Rich Dude's House- Ke$ha
NEW!
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Roar- Katy Perry
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
American Beautiful- The Henningsens
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Fack- Eminem
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Girl Can Rock- Hilary Duff
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Here We Go Again- Demi Lovato
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Dollhouse- Priscilla Renea
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I Drive Your Truck- Lee Brice
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Cornerstone- Hillsong Live
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Teenagers- My Chemical Romance
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
1994- Jason Aldean
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
When Love Takes Over- Nikki Boon
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Storm Warning- Hunter Hayes
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
The Only Way I Know- Jason Aldean
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Truck Yeah- Tim McGraw
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Beat Of My Heart- Hilary Duff
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Changed- Rascal Flatts
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
My Happy Ending- Avril Lavigne (that's oddly fitting-ish?)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
He's Mine- Rodney Atkins
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Waking Up In Vegas- Katy Perry
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Take A Back Road- Rodney Atkins
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Drowning- Backstreet Boys (Ohh my.)
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Good Directions- Billy Currington
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Drink In My Hand- Eric Church
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
The Heart Of Dixie- Danielle Bradbery
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Barefoot Blue Jean Night- Jake Owen
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Done- The Band Perry
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Hard To Love- Lee Brice
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Party Rock Anthem- LMFAO
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain)- Gary Allan
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift
My taste has changed a little bit. I mainly listen to Country and Christian/Worship music now.
3 years difference.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
ORIGINAL! (March 5, 2011)
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Gives You Hell. -All American Rejects
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
In Too Deep. -Sum 41
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Hey Baby (Drop it to the floor). -Pitbull ft. T pain
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
This Is Me. -Demi Lovato nad Joe Jonas.
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Simple Things. -Rodney Atkins.
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Shape Of My Heart. -Backstreet Boys.
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
So Bad. -Eminem.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Innocence- Avril Lavigne
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Black and Yellow- Wiz Kahlifa.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Cold Wind Blows- Eminem
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
It's America. -Rodney Atkins.
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Tearin' Up My Heart- N*Sync
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Kiss N Tell. -Ke$ha.
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Hungover. -Ke$ha.
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Keep Holding On- Avril Lavigne
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Kryptonite- 3 Doors Down.
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Dancing With Tears In My Eyes- Ke$ha
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
Tik Tok- Ke$ha
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Space Bound- Eminem
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Secondchance- Shinedown
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
When It's My Time. -Rodney Atkins
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
I Don't Wanna Be In Love (Dancefloor Anthem)- Good Charlotte
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Lover, Lover- Jarrod Niemann
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Love Like Woe- The Ready Set
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
I Miss You- Miley Cyrus
(Most definately. The song to my grandma.)
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Club Can't Handle Me- Flo Rida ft. David Guetta
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Boots and Boys- Ke$ha.
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Here Without You- 3 Doors Down
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Breathe (2 AM)- Anna Nalick
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Party At A Rich Dude's House- Ke$ha
NEW!
IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY" YOU SAY?
Roar- Katy Perry
WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
American Beautiful- The Henningsens
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Fack- Eminem
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Girl Can Rock- Hilary Duff
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
Here We Go Again- Demi Lovato
WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
Dollhouse- Priscilla Renea
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
I Drive Your Truck- Lee Brice
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Cornerstone- Hillsong Live
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Teenagers- My Chemical Romance
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
1994- Jason Aldean
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
When Love Takes Over- Nikki Boon
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Storm Warning- Hunter Hayes
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
The Only Way I Know- Jason Aldean
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Truck Yeah- Tim McGraw
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Beat Of My Heart- Hilary Duff
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Changed- Rascal Flatts
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
My Happy Ending- Avril Lavigne (that's oddly fitting-ish?)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
He's Mine- Rodney Atkins
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Waking Up In Vegas- Katy Perry
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Take A Back Road- Rodney Atkins
WHAT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Drowning- Backstreet Boys (Ohh my.)
HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Good Directions- Billy Currington
WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Drink In My Hand- Eric Church
WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
The Heart Of Dixie- Danielle Bradbery
WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Barefoot Blue Jean Night- Jake Owen
WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Done- The Band Perry
DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU?
Hard To Love- Lee Brice
IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
Party Rock Anthem- LMFAO
WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
Every Storm (Runs Out of Rain)- Gary Allan
WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
You Belong With Me- Taylor Swift
My taste has changed a little bit. I mainly listen to Country and Christian/Worship music now.
3 years difference.
Look through my cell phone.
Okay, so I did this note on facebook that asks questions and I answer. Like those myspace surveys, ya know? I will post my original note then repost with new answers, just to show how much things have changed.
This survey was originally done December 28, 2010. Just a little over 3 years ago.
Original
Basics..!
Carrier? (T-Mobile,Alltel,..) Virgin Mobile
Brand? (Kyocera,Motorola..) LG
How long have you had it? a month and a week haha
Want a new one? naw I'm set for now.
Whats ur Texting Plan? unlimited
How many anytime minutes do you get? 300
How many night and weekends? 0- yeahh i ain't cool, but it's aiight.
Calls..!
Who called you last? Ben
How long did you talk? About less than a minute haha
Who did you last call? Work lol
How long did you talk? a couple of minutes
What is your all call's timer? 5 hours 13 minutes and 39 seconds
Contacts..!
How many contacts do you have? 50
How many contacts do you have under "J"? 4
What about "S"? 7
How many do you have a picture ID for? 2 lmao
Do you have more Male or Female contacts? female
How many guys? 17
How many ladies? 25
Do you have your house phone set? no.
Who is your first contact? Alexis
Who is your last contact? Work
Texting..!!
Are you texting right now? yeahh
More than one person? yeahh
What did the last text you recieved say? "Me 2"
Want to share who its from? Brett
What does your 5th outgoing say? "Lol I figured. You said that you were tired."
How many inbox messages do you have? Idk...alot.
Outbox? Idk...alot.
Are you addicted to texting? I can be.
Do you send pic or vid messages? pics only,
How many a month? idk..
Random..!
Which of your contacts lives the farthest away? Sean
Who is your newest contact? Bryon
Do you have rintones for different people? Naw.
Have you ever sent a naked pic? nope.
Have you ever recieved a naked pic? nope.
Have you ever broke up through a text? yeahh.
Have you ever hooked up through a text? nah.
NEW
Basics..!
Carrier? (T-Mobile,Alltel,..) Sprint
Brand? (Kyocera,Motorola..) iPhone
How long have you had it? 6 months
Want a new one? No.
Whats ur Texting Plan? unlimited
How many anytime minutes do you get? unlimited
How many night and weekends? unlimited
Calls..!
Who called you last? Gas Station work
How long did you talk? 1 minute
Who did you last call? Mom
How long did you talk? 35 seconds lol
What is your all call's timer? I don't know how to get that info on this phone haha
Contacts..!
How many contacts do you have? 77
How many contacts do you have under "J"? 6
What about "S"? 6
How many do you have a picture ID for? None
Do you have more Male or Female contacts? Female
How many guys? 15
How many ladies? 38
Do you have your house phone set? No house phone
Who is your first contact? Jackie A.
Who is your last contact? Brian Z.
Texting..!!
Are you texting right now? No.
More than one person? No.
What did the last text you recieved say? "Daddy left his phones here."
Want to share who its from? My mother
What does your 5th outgoing say? Well, that's kind of hard to tell on this phone, so I'm going to say 5th last one, "I'm very happy for you though lol"
How many inbox messages do you have? ALOT
Outbox? Again, alot
Are you addicted to texting? I can be.
Do you send pic or vid messages? pics only,
How many a month? idk..
Random..!
Which of your contacts lives the farthest away? My sister, Sydney
Who is your newest contact? I don't even remember
Do you have rintones for different people? Nope
Have you ever sent a naked pic? Nope.
Have you ever recieved a naked pic? Nope.
Have you ever broke up through a text? Mhm.
Have you ever hooked up through a text? Nope.
I don't even know who Bryon is and I forgot all about Sean until literally the other day. It's so weird!
Well, I hope ya'll enjoyed that! Lol Look for the next survey!
This survey was originally done December 28, 2010. Just a little over 3 years ago.
Original
Basics..!
Carrier? (T-Mobile,Alltel,..) Virgin Mobile
Brand? (Kyocera,Motorola..) LG
How long have you had it? a month and a week haha
Want a new one? naw I'm set for now.
Whats ur Texting Plan? unlimited
How many anytime minutes do you get? 300
How many night and weekends? 0- yeahh i ain't cool, but it's aiight.
Calls..!
Who called you last? Ben
How long did you talk? About less than a minute haha
Who did you last call? Work lol
How long did you talk? a couple of minutes
What is your all call's timer? 5 hours 13 minutes and 39 seconds
Contacts..!
How many contacts do you have? 50
How many contacts do you have under "J"? 4
What about "S"? 7
How many do you have a picture ID for? 2 lmao
Do you have more Male or Female contacts? female
How many guys? 17
How many ladies? 25
Do you have your house phone set? no.
Who is your first contact? Alexis
Who is your last contact? Work
Texting..!!
Are you texting right now? yeahh
More than one person? yeahh
What did the last text you recieved say? "Me 2"
Want to share who its from? Brett
What does your 5th outgoing say? "Lol I figured. You said that you were tired."
How many inbox messages do you have? Idk...alot.
Outbox? Idk...alot.
Are you addicted to texting? I can be.
Do you send pic or vid messages? pics only,
How many a month? idk..
Random..!
Which of your contacts lives the farthest away? Sean
Who is your newest contact? Bryon
Do you have rintones for different people? Naw.
Have you ever sent a naked pic? nope.
Have you ever recieved a naked pic? nope.
Have you ever broke up through a text? yeahh.
Have you ever hooked up through a text? nah.
NEW
Basics..!
Carrier? (T-Mobile,Alltel,..) Sprint
Brand? (Kyocera,Motorola..) iPhone
How long have you had it? 6 months
Want a new one? No.
Whats ur Texting Plan? unlimited
How many anytime minutes do you get? unlimited
How many night and weekends? unlimited
Calls..!
Who called you last? Gas Station work
How long did you talk? 1 minute
Who did you last call? Mom
How long did you talk? 35 seconds lol
What is your all call's timer? I don't know how to get that info on this phone haha
Contacts..!
How many contacts do you have? 77
How many contacts do you have under "J"? 6
What about "S"? 6
How many do you have a picture ID for? None
Do you have more Male or Female contacts? Female
How many guys? 15
How many ladies? 38
Do you have your house phone set? No house phone
Who is your first contact? Jackie A.
Who is your last contact? Brian Z.
Texting..!!
Are you texting right now? No.
More than one person? No.
What did the last text you recieved say? "Daddy left his phones here."
Want to share who its from? My mother
What does your 5th outgoing say? Well, that's kind of hard to tell on this phone, so I'm going to say 5th last one, "I'm very happy for you though lol"
How many inbox messages do you have? ALOT
Outbox? Again, alot
Are you addicted to texting? I can be.
Do you send pic or vid messages? pics only,
How many a month? idk..
Random..!
Which of your contacts lives the farthest away? My sister, Sydney
Who is your newest contact? I don't even remember
Do you have rintones for different people? Nope
Have you ever sent a naked pic? Nope.
Have you ever recieved a naked pic? Nope.
Have you ever broke up through a text? Mhm.
Have you ever hooked up through a text? Nope.
I don't even know who Bryon is and I forgot all about Sean until literally the other day. It's so weird!
Well, I hope ya'll enjoyed that! Lol Look for the next survey!
April 21, 2014
Talking with my dad today, he said it was up to me if I wanted to work the whole two weeks or not. I don't think I'm going to, just because I'm excited to start being able to actually do stuff with friends without being tired, or just able to go home and relax for a bit before bringing Kaiden home. I did tell him that I was going to work tomorrow to put the parts room in the addition together, but other than that, probably not much else.
I am just ready to close that chapter of my life and just be a daughter to him and not an employee. He seemed pretty okay with my decision. I think it is kind of a relief off of his shoulders to, since he wouldn't have to try and think of some stuff for me to do.
I'm excited to be able to be more available to Kaiden and to friends without having to make plans too late in the day.
I will be less stressed and more happy and relaxed.
So this will be a short post because I have a few other posts I'm going to do. These other posts are going to be personal and for you guys to get to know me in a different light other than what I do or think during a day.
So I hope you enjoy them. :)
Until Later. <3
I am just ready to close that chapter of my life and just be a daughter to him and not an employee. He seemed pretty okay with my decision. I think it is kind of a relief off of his shoulders to, since he wouldn't have to try and think of some stuff for me to do.
I'm excited to be able to be more available to Kaiden and to friends without having to make plans too late in the day.
I will be less stressed and more happy and relaxed.
So this will be a short post because I have a few other posts I'm going to do. These other posts are going to be personal and for you guys to get to know me in a different light other than what I do or think during a day.
So I hope you enjoy them. :)
Until Later. <3
Sunday, April 20, 2014
April 20, 2014
Happy Easter, everyone! He surely has risen!!
Church this morning was incredible. The dance, the video, the choir...everything was towards what the real meaning of Easter is. Jesus arose from his grave! <3
After church, my parents, grandfather, sister, brother, son, and I went to Big Boy for lunch. It was good to see my grandpa.
I also actually felt very beautiful today. I got all dolled up and with the dress my mom and I bought last night. I did feel really good.
Then we went to my parents house and my dad dropped my grandpa off at his place.
My sibs, son, and I went to play in the backyard for a bit to enjoy such wonderful weather. That didn't last very long. We went inside to watch Impractical Jokers and Ghost Adventures until the Red Wings game. I ended up falling asleep for a bit, then wake up in time to watch the Red Wings lose. That did suck, but not the end of the world.
My sibs, son, my dog Lady, and I went for a walk to a nearby school then back to my parents house.
Now my son, brother, and I are at home for the night. We did some cleaning and now relaxing.
I am super tired. But it has been a pretty good day.
So, that was my recap. Might be boring to some people, but it was very relaxing to me on my day off. :)
I hope everyone's day was just as good for them!
Tomorrow, I will be spending about 3 hours in the gym in the morning. The dress shopping last night just pushed me. I will be working at the gym as much as I can, even more than I have been. In two weeks, when I am done working for my dad, I will have so much more time dedicated to it.
I need to make this work.
I need to get this done.
I need to feel better about myself.
My cousin's girlfriend who has become so dear to me gave me a talk last night that helped, even though I didn't act like it. Sorry, girl!
It's going to work.
Tomorrow, I'm going to weigh myself and measure.
Then it's going to a long road to get where I want to be.
But I got this.
I need to have this.
Until tomorrow!
<3
Church this morning was incredible. The dance, the video, the choir...everything was towards what the real meaning of Easter is. Jesus arose from his grave! <3
After church, my parents, grandfather, sister, brother, son, and I went to Big Boy for lunch. It was good to see my grandpa.
I also actually felt very beautiful today. I got all dolled up and with the dress my mom and I bought last night. I did feel really good.
Then we went to my parents house and my dad dropped my grandpa off at his place.
My sibs, son, and I went to play in the backyard for a bit to enjoy such wonderful weather. That didn't last very long. We went inside to watch Impractical Jokers and Ghost Adventures until the Red Wings game. I ended up falling asleep for a bit, then wake up in time to watch the Red Wings lose. That did suck, but not the end of the world.
My sibs, son, my dog Lady, and I went for a walk to a nearby school then back to my parents house.
Now my son, brother, and I are at home for the night. We did some cleaning and now relaxing.
I am super tired. But it has been a pretty good day.
So, that was my recap. Might be boring to some people, but it was very relaxing to me on my day off. :)
I hope everyone's day was just as good for them!
Tomorrow, I will be spending about 3 hours in the gym in the morning. The dress shopping last night just pushed me. I will be working at the gym as much as I can, even more than I have been. In two weeks, when I am done working for my dad, I will have so much more time dedicated to it.
I need to make this work.
I need to get this done.
I need to feel better about myself.
My cousin's girlfriend who has become so dear to me gave me a talk last night that helped, even though I didn't act like it. Sorry, girl!
It's going to work.
Tomorrow, I'm going to weigh myself and measure.
Then it's going to a long road to get where I want to be.
But I got this.
I need to have this.
Until tomorrow!
<3
Saturday, April 19, 2014
April 19, 2014
So I wrote on facebook that it hasn't been that great of a day and that I probably would not even make a blog post today.
I have decided to anyways.
Today was just emotionally damaging to me.
I've been working out, I've been cutting my food down, I've been cutting pop out ALOT. But it's not good enough. Instead of losing weight, I had fucking gained it! Please excuse that cuss word, but I'm mad.
Why isn't it flipping working?
What do I have to fricking do? Workout for 5 mother trucking hours?! STARVE!?
Obviously, I'm not going to starve.
But that's what I feel like doing.
But don't worry, I really won't. I like food too much.
I went Easter dress shopping with my mom and Kaiden today. And every single dress I tried on made me look like a flipping whale! I was so absolutely downright disgusted with what I saw in the mirror. I became so frustrated that I had been working out, watching what I ate and drank, and NONE OF IT FUCKING MATTERED!!!!!
So what's the point? It's not working. Why bother anymore? Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy with myself. Maybe that's God's plan. Keep me in misery. And according to everyone fucking else, if I can't be happy with myself, I will never have anyone.
So.
I hate everything right now.
Especially me.
Why make everything so damn hard for me? Why does everything have to be so difficult for me in very aspect of my fucking life?!
Obviously, not in a great mood.
Obviously, not in a really giving a damn mood.
But this is part of my life. Don't like what you read, don't read.
Until tomorrow, when I better be in a better mood..
I have decided to anyways.
Today was just emotionally damaging to me.
I've been working out, I've been cutting my food down, I've been cutting pop out ALOT. But it's not good enough. Instead of losing weight, I had fucking gained it! Please excuse that cuss word, but I'm mad.
Why isn't it flipping working?
What do I have to fricking do? Workout for 5 mother trucking hours?! STARVE!?
Obviously, I'm not going to starve.
But that's what I feel like doing.
But don't worry, I really won't. I like food too much.
I went Easter dress shopping with my mom and Kaiden today. And every single dress I tried on made me look like a flipping whale! I was so absolutely downright disgusted with what I saw in the mirror. I became so frustrated that I had been working out, watching what I ate and drank, and NONE OF IT FUCKING MATTERED!!!!!
So what's the point? It's not working. Why bother anymore? Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy with myself. Maybe that's God's plan. Keep me in misery. And according to everyone fucking else, if I can't be happy with myself, I will never have anyone.
So.
I hate everything right now.
Especially me.
Why make everything so damn hard for me? Why does everything have to be so difficult for me in very aspect of my fucking life?!
Obviously, not in a great mood.
Obviously, not in a really giving a damn mood.
But this is part of my life. Don't like what you read, don't read.
Until tomorrow, when I better be in a better mood..
Friday, April 18, 2014
April 18, 2014
Important news first!
THE DETROIT RED WINGS WON THE FIRST PLAYOFF GAME VS BOSTON BRUINS!'
I mean, it's literally a BIG deal! So many people are underestimating the Wings because they barely got into the playoffs. However, there is a reason that Boston didn't want to play the Wings.
Now, I'm trying not to get too cocky. But. It's a pretty awesome thing right now. :)
So today has been just...weird.
I put in my two weeks notice for my dads.
I don't have guaranteed hours for one, and for two, I just don't like doing that type of work. I never really did, but I had needed the job and then my dad had needed me more than he does now that he has a few more people on. It got to the point where he had to try hard to think of things for me to do. I will still be making sure that my grandpa's pills are done and whatnot, but on my own time.
With this, I will definitely have to budget more. Like a real budget and have to stick to it. I have managed to pick up one more day at the gas station and am going to talk to my manager at Jimmy John's about some hours that are not night...if that's possible.
It definitely feels weird, because I have been at that job for 3 years, and am just so used to working three different jobs, and that one everyday. I will actually be able to just go home after the gas station or Jimmy's without having to go to his work. I haven't had that in 3 years and it's going to feel fabulous.
This may or may not be a cut in pay. And really, it's just gotta be done. I've taken as much as I could, but it's just not cutting it.
I still can't believe I did it, though! I have never quit a job. I got fired once, 3 years ago. That's a whole different story.
It's going to feel weird for sure, but I do believe this is the best thing to do right now.
I am one tired chick.
I stayed up late to watch the Blackhawks/Blues game go into 3OTs until the Blues finally got a goal. That lasted until 12:30, and then I was woken up earlier than planned to hurry up and get out the door to run some parts down south for dad before working at Jimmy's. It was a busy day at Jimmy's too. I was on the road for probably 2 and half hours straight delivering.
I honestly do love my job there. Mostly the people I work with. They make it fun. :)
Well, that's all I gotta say tonight. Got some stuff to do then it's bedtime for me and my kid.
Until tomorrow! <3
THE DETROIT RED WINGS WON THE FIRST PLAYOFF GAME VS BOSTON BRUINS!'
I mean, it's literally a BIG deal! So many people are underestimating the Wings because they barely got into the playoffs. However, there is a reason that Boston didn't want to play the Wings.
Now, I'm trying not to get too cocky. But. It's a pretty awesome thing right now. :)
So today has been just...weird.
I put in my two weeks notice for my dads.
I don't have guaranteed hours for one, and for two, I just don't like doing that type of work. I never really did, but I had needed the job and then my dad had needed me more than he does now that he has a few more people on. It got to the point where he had to try hard to think of things for me to do. I will still be making sure that my grandpa's pills are done and whatnot, but on my own time.
With this, I will definitely have to budget more. Like a real budget and have to stick to it. I have managed to pick up one more day at the gas station and am going to talk to my manager at Jimmy John's about some hours that are not night...if that's possible.
It definitely feels weird, because I have been at that job for 3 years, and am just so used to working three different jobs, and that one everyday. I will actually be able to just go home after the gas station or Jimmy's without having to go to his work. I haven't had that in 3 years and it's going to feel fabulous.
This may or may not be a cut in pay. And really, it's just gotta be done. I've taken as much as I could, but it's just not cutting it.
I still can't believe I did it, though! I have never quit a job. I got fired once, 3 years ago. That's a whole different story.
It's going to feel weird for sure, but I do believe this is the best thing to do right now.
I am one tired chick.
I stayed up late to watch the Blackhawks/Blues game go into 3OTs until the Blues finally got a goal. That lasted until 12:30, and then I was woken up earlier than planned to hurry up and get out the door to run some parts down south for dad before working at Jimmy's. It was a busy day at Jimmy's too. I was on the road for probably 2 and half hours straight delivering.
I honestly do love my job there. Mostly the people I work with. They make it fun. :)
Well, that's all I gotta say tonight. Got some stuff to do then it's bedtime for me and my kid.
Until tomorrow! <3
Thursday, April 17, 2014
April 17, 2014
POSITIVITY!
It's not as contagious as negativity and it's harder to maintain.
But it's sooo much better!
This morning, I decided that it was going to be a good day.
And it was!
I had hit up the gym in the morning, worked, and picked up Kaiden. Same thing, different day. Actually, there were a couple of things that were frustrating and I could have had a bad attitude about them, but what would be the point? Just taking those situations and trying to figure it out for the better instead of brooding over it.
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh say does that star spangled banner yet wave. O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Sorry, Blackhawks/Blues game is starting right now and just did the anthem, obviously. ;)
I don't know if I could ever explain just how much I love Stanley Cup Playoff time. The games are so much better because the teams are playing harder trying to get to the final and ultimately get Lord Stanley's Cup. The fights, the physicality, the speed, the pressure. I love it.
The Red Wings don't play until tomorrow, so I'm getting my hockey fix with the other games until then. I expect this year's playoffs to be pretty intense. I don't think any series will end in 4 or 5 games. I think they will all go to 6 or 7 games.
I need to make a budget. Bad. I keep getting myself into trouble and it's because I don't stick to a budget. I get money and I'm selfish and want to keep it to me or buy things for me. I need to stop, and save so that I can do things with Kaiden this summer.
I'm going to make one tonight.
Just need to stick to it.
Well, that's really all I have to say for now.
Until tomorrow. <3
It's not as contagious as negativity and it's harder to maintain.
But it's sooo much better!
This morning, I decided that it was going to be a good day.
And it was!
I had hit up the gym in the morning, worked, and picked up Kaiden. Same thing, different day. Actually, there were a couple of things that were frustrating and I could have had a bad attitude about them, but what would be the point? Just taking those situations and trying to figure it out for the better instead of brooding over it.
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air, gave proof through the night that our flag was still there. Oh say does that star spangled banner yet wave. O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave.
Sorry, Blackhawks/Blues game is starting right now and just did the anthem, obviously. ;)
I don't know if I could ever explain just how much I love Stanley Cup Playoff time. The games are so much better because the teams are playing harder trying to get to the final and ultimately get Lord Stanley's Cup. The fights, the physicality, the speed, the pressure. I love it.
The Red Wings don't play until tomorrow, so I'm getting my hockey fix with the other games until then. I expect this year's playoffs to be pretty intense. I don't think any series will end in 4 or 5 games. I think they will all go to 6 or 7 games.
I need to make a budget. Bad. I keep getting myself into trouble and it's because I don't stick to a budget. I get money and I'm selfish and want to keep it to me or buy things for me. I need to stop, and save so that I can do things with Kaiden this summer.
I'm going to make one tonight.
Just need to stick to it.
Well, that's really all I have to say for now.
Until tomorrow. <3
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
April 16, 2014 #2
I'm not as tired as I thought I would be today after such rough of a night of sleep.
Today wasn't exactly a great day either.
My prayers have been and will continue to be with my pastor and his family through a hard time right now. Please do not underestimate the power of my church family. We stick together and we will be with him through this whole ordeal and celebrate with him when it is over!
The gym today felt pretty good. I need to get back on track with what I was doing, eating better, working out more.
I was going to go the bible study tonight for the first time, but that got cancelled.
I'm trying to stay positively on track. I need to. For Kaiden and myself.
One of the good things today is that NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs have started! I am currently switching between two games, neither of them the Red Wings, but that's really okay. I love hockey and these two games are actually very exciting! Lots of fighting, hard playing, goals. Good hockey!
I just can't wait until Friday when the Wings start! :)
I hope I get good enough sleep tonight. I'm really nervous about that nightmare. It just felt so real, that I don't know if it was just in my sleep. I just have to trust that God is looking over my son and I at night. Although, I think I will sleep with the TV on...maybe the Christmas lights.
I am soooo ready for the warm weather! I hate being cold and thought it was over...but Michigan had a surprise for us yesterday and decided give another day of snow. I refused to go along with it, walking out of my house in my capri workout pants and just my workshirt. No coat. I absolutely refused.
Well, by the end of the day, I had a coat and sweatpants on. =\
Next week is supposed to be in the 60s.
Hopefully.
Day #2 with no pop!
Sorry that this post is absolutely all over the place. That's how my mind works sometimes. I'm completely unfocused today.
Until tomorrow. <3
Today wasn't exactly a great day either.
My prayers have been and will continue to be with my pastor and his family through a hard time right now. Please do not underestimate the power of my church family. We stick together and we will be with him through this whole ordeal and celebrate with him when it is over!
The gym today felt pretty good. I need to get back on track with what I was doing, eating better, working out more.
I was going to go the bible study tonight for the first time, but that got cancelled.
I'm trying to stay positively on track. I need to. For Kaiden and myself.
One of the good things today is that NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs have started! I am currently switching between two games, neither of them the Red Wings, but that's really okay. I love hockey and these two games are actually very exciting! Lots of fighting, hard playing, goals. Good hockey!
I just can't wait until Friday when the Wings start! :)
I hope I get good enough sleep tonight. I'm really nervous about that nightmare. It just felt so real, that I don't know if it was just in my sleep. I just have to trust that God is looking over my son and I at night. Although, I think I will sleep with the TV on...maybe the Christmas lights.
I am soooo ready for the warm weather! I hate being cold and thought it was over...but Michigan had a surprise for us yesterday and decided give another day of snow. I refused to go along with it, walking out of my house in my capri workout pants and just my workshirt. No coat. I absolutely refused.
Well, by the end of the day, I had a coat and sweatpants on. =\
Next week is supposed to be in the 60s.
Hopefully.
Day #2 with no pop!
Sorry that this post is absolutely all over the place. That's how my mind works sometimes. I'm completely unfocused today.
Until tomorrow. <3
April 16, 2014
I had a rough night. I didn't fall asleep until about maybe around midnight or a little after, and had to shut the TV off in order to do so.
I wake up around 4:30 am, and see horrible news and lies being spread about my Pastor. None of this is new to me, I knew it would happen. I pray for his family again and again, for their safety and wellbeing.
Maybe around 6 am, I finally get to falling asleep...just to wake up to the really scary dream.
I was sleeping on my stomach, looking towards the wall, slightly wake up to the sound of the living room TV being clicked on or off, and suddenly I just feel so much pressure weighing down on my back and arms. I was paralyzed and couldn't speak. I tried to yell, "God, Help me!" But I couldn't. I stop struggling for a few minutes and the pressure was released and I sit up and get to yell it, then it happened again. My arms were flown together and held tightly in the air and pressure in my chest to where I couldn't talk again. I strained so hard to yell it and finally get it through, "God, Help me!" And it all ends. Then I wake up in the same position as I was sleeping in at the beginning of that nightmare. I still don't know for sure if it was all in my sleep, or if it was actually real. I do believe that it was a demon that was trying to hurt me.
Eventually I fall asleep again around 7:30ish am. This dream is a little more foggy to me. I can't remember all the details about it. The part I do remember more clearly is this:
Kaiden and I were in this mall type place and there was this elevator. He runs onto it with this woman and I wasn't fast enough to get to him. The doors shut and I'm trying desperately to open them, pressing every button possible on that thing. Finally the doors opened and I thought he would be there, but he wasn't. So I take it up to the next floor and ask everyone I see if they seen this little boy with a red coat. Nobody had and I was crying and freaking out. I see him across the store we were in and I take off running for him and he starts running even farther away from me, laughing because he thought it was a game. I finally catch up to him, he trips and was about to fall head first into this big hole in the floor but I dive and grab him by the back of his coat just in time to save him.
Andddd I wake up.
I didn't like last night and so glad that I don't drive on Wednesday nights anymore, because it would be a long night.
Kaiden has a doctor appointment today in about 2 hours to be tested for diabetes.
I also am going back to the gym with some girls from work, possibly.
So it's going to be a long day.
On the plus side, NHL Playoffs start today! Detroit doesn't play until Friday but that's okay. I'll get my hockey fix after a two day break.
Until later, because I'm sure I will have another post or two today.
I wake up around 4:30 am, and see horrible news and lies being spread about my Pastor. None of this is new to me, I knew it would happen. I pray for his family again and again, for their safety and wellbeing.
Maybe around 6 am, I finally get to falling asleep...just to wake up to the really scary dream.
I was sleeping on my stomach, looking towards the wall, slightly wake up to the sound of the living room TV being clicked on or off, and suddenly I just feel so much pressure weighing down on my back and arms. I was paralyzed and couldn't speak. I tried to yell, "God, Help me!" But I couldn't. I stop struggling for a few minutes and the pressure was released and I sit up and get to yell it, then it happened again. My arms were flown together and held tightly in the air and pressure in my chest to where I couldn't talk again. I strained so hard to yell it and finally get it through, "God, Help me!" And it all ends. Then I wake up in the same position as I was sleeping in at the beginning of that nightmare. I still don't know for sure if it was all in my sleep, or if it was actually real. I do believe that it was a demon that was trying to hurt me.
Eventually I fall asleep again around 7:30ish am. This dream is a little more foggy to me. I can't remember all the details about it. The part I do remember more clearly is this:
Kaiden and I were in this mall type place and there was this elevator. He runs onto it with this woman and I wasn't fast enough to get to him. The doors shut and I'm trying desperately to open them, pressing every button possible on that thing. Finally the doors opened and I thought he would be there, but he wasn't. So I take it up to the next floor and ask everyone I see if they seen this little boy with a red coat. Nobody had and I was crying and freaking out. I see him across the store we were in and I take off running for him and he starts running even farther away from me, laughing because he thought it was a game. I finally catch up to him, he trips and was about to fall head first into this big hole in the floor but I dive and grab him by the back of his coat just in time to save him.
Andddd I wake up.
I didn't like last night and so glad that I don't drive on Wednesday nights anymore, because it would be a long night.
Kaiden has a doctor appointment today in about 2 hours to be tested for diabetes.
I also am going back to the gym with some girls from work, possibly.
So it's going to be a long day.
On the plus side, NHL Playoffs start today! Detroit doesn't play until Friday but that's okay. I'll get my hockey fix after a two day break.
Until later, because I'm sure I will have another post or two today.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
April 15, 2014 #2
I absolutely love my church family.
We don't judge. EVERYBODY is accepted and will be welcomed and loved with open arms. Our pastoral staff just rocks, everyone is just so friendly.
I just wanted to put this message out there.
Short little post. I'm a bit distracted with hockey right now...
BUT, if you are EVER interested in checking out a church, I highly recommend checking out The Rock!
Contact me for details. :)
Hope to see some new faces there!
We don't judge. EVERYBODY is accepted and will be welcomed and loved with open arms. Our pastoral staff just rocks, everyone is just so friendly.
I just wanted to put this message out there.
Short little post. I'm a bit distracted with hockey right now...
BUT, if you are EVER interested in checking out a church, I highly recommend checking out The Rock!
Contact me for details. :)
Hope to see some new faces there!
April 15, 2014
So apparently a lot more people like to read my most depressing posts, because that one got a lot of reads...a lot more than any other one.
Well, I'm sorry, but not every post is going to be depressing. It's just a part of my life.
I'm feeling a bit better today after crying so much, sleep, and talking with some of my closest friends about it. I really just have to give this all to God and trust that His plan for me is a lot better than I can ever hope to make myself. It will be on His time and His time only, whether I like it or not. Meantime, I just have to figure out how to squash the anxiety that builds up on the days like that.
Patience is not my forte.
Today is day one with no pop. Usually I would have it by now, but I decided to grab something else. I don't even have pop in my fridge on a regular basis anymore. I actually haven't for a while. It's something I just usually grab at work. I get unlimited pop at Jimmy John's and my favorite, Dr. Pepper, is there. This morning, I actually ate breakfast.
Okay so you may be thinking, big deal.
But it actually is a big deal. I like to sleep in until the last minute possible, wake up, get Kaiden and I ready for school/work, and walk out the door. He gets breakfast at school so he doesn't go without, but I do. If I'm supposed to be working on a better diet, I should eat at the proper times.
It's going to work.
Kaiden and I went food shopping last night and got better food than we usually do.
I'm trying to lose weight and eat better. The biggest hurdle for me will be my diet. I love Dr. Pepper, I crave it when I go a day without it. I like to eat food that is high in calories and not necessarily good for me. But it's so delicious! I just gotta control it in portions and watch what I eat.
I love working out, but hate going alone a lot. Thankfully, I have friends that are signed up at my gym, my sister just signed up, and my brother is allowed to go as my guest. I just gotta get the time to go.
When this year started, I was determined that this year is going to be the best one yet.
I think believe it will.
Until later. <3
Well, I'm sorry, but not every post is going to be depressing. It's just a part of my life.
I'm feeling a bit better today after crying so much, sleep, and talking with some of my closest friends about it. I really just have to give this all to God and trust that His plan for me is a lot better than I can ever hope to make myself. It will be on His time and His time only, whether I like it or not. Meantime, I just have to figure out how to squash the anxiety that builds up on the days like that.
Patience is not my forte.
Today is day one with no pop. Usually I would have it by now, but I decided to grab something else. I don't even have pop in my fridge on a regular basis anymore. I actually haven't for a while. It's something I just usually grab at work. I get unlimited pop at Jimmy John's and my favorite, Dr. Pepper, is there. This morning, I actually ate breakfast.
Okay so you may be thinking, big deal.
But it actually is a big deal. I like to sleep in until the last minute possible, wake up, get Kaiden and I ready for school/work, and walk out the door. He gets breakfast at school so he doesn't go without, but I do. If I'm supposed to be working on a better diet, I should eat at the proper times.
It's going to work.
Kaiden and I went food shopping last night and got better food than we usually do.
I'm trying to lose weight and eat better. The biggest hurdle for me will be my diet. I love Dr. Pepper, I crave it when I go a day without it. I like to eat food that is high in calories and not necessarily good for me. But it's so delicious! I just gotta control it in portions and watch what I eat.
I love working out, but hate going alone a lot. Thankfully, I have friends that are signed up at my gym, my sister just signed up, and my brother is allowed to go as my guest. I just gotta get the time to go.
When this year started, I was determined that this year is going to be the best one yet.
I think believe it will.
Until later. <3
Monday, April 14, 2014
April 14, 2014 #2
Positivity. It's a strong thing. Sometimes though, it's hard to hold on to when so many negative things are rushing through your mind. Positivity is hard to maintain when you are in a weak spot where the devil just wants to grab a hold of you and keep you down on his level.
I still don't like who I am.
I still think I'm one of the ugliest people alive.
I still don't think I'm worth all that much.
Hopefully, that will soon change.
I'm probably the most impatient person I know.
I don't waiting for anything.
I get major anxiety when I have to wait.
I have incredible road rage. I hate driving, yet I'm a delivery driver. I will say that I do control my rage when I am working, so don't worry!
I just feel that I am so ready for someone to love me and help me through my life.
I may act strong at times to a lot of people, but to be frankly honest, I really am not.
I am not that strong.
People give me more credit than I deserve. I'm barely hanging on. Crying is something that happens weekly, not daily, but almost.
I'm just doing what I have to do. It's not enough. I'm not trying much hard at work anymore because I am so tired of working. I almost hate it because I used to do it so much. I only get about 10 hours a week at each job now. Unfortunately, I have to go back to working so hard that I get back to being so sick of work. It sucks that it feels like I have to choose between work and my son. =\
I'm in a bit of a better mood. Not the best. But decent.
Sorry for this. But I warned you in the beginning that this is a roller coaster. It's definitely a ride.
Until Later.
I still don't like who I am.
I still think I'm one of the ugliest people alive.
I still don't think I'm worth all that much.
Hopefully, that will soon change.
I'm probably the most impatient person I know.
I don't waiting for anything.
I get major anxiety when I have to wait.
I have incredible road rage. I hate driving, yet I'm a delivery driver. I will say that I do control my rage when I am working, so don't worry!
I just feel that I am so ready for someone to love me and help me through my life.
I may act strong at times to a lot of people, but to be frankly honest, I really am not.
I am not that strong.
People give me more credit than I deserve. I'm barely hanging on. Crying is something that happens weekly, not daily, but almost.
I'm just doing what I have to do. It's not enough. I'm not trying much hard at work anymore because I am so tired of working. I almost hate it because I used to do it so much. I only get about 10 hours a week at each job now. Unfortunately, I have to go back to working so hard that I get back to being so sick of work. It sucks that it feels like I have to choose between work and my son. =\
I'm in a bit of a better mood. Not the best. But decent.
Sorry for this. But I warned you in the beginning that this is a roller coaster. It's definitely a ride.
Until Later.
April 14, 2014
Self confidence is something that I have struggled with for years and still am struggling with now. I don't see anything good in me, anything worth anything. There must be something because my son loves me and so do friends and family, but I just don't see it.
Self doubt is a constant thing in my everyday life.
I think most guys are too good for me. The ones that I am attracted to.
I don't want to feel like this forever.
I don't want to hate myself forever.
There is just about nothing that I like myself.
I don't know what my son and friends see.
I hate my looks. Absolutely hands down.
I hate myself.
I am totally and completely jealous of just about all of my friends.
I am the only single one out of my best friends. It kills to see or hear about their significant others with them. I know some read this and I'm sorry. I can't help of be jealous.
I long for someone to even look at me as a possible soul mate.
I really don't care if it sounds shallow. I don't really care.
I have a huge fear of rejection. I won't put myself into any position that would even have the possibly of rejection. I've been hurt by too many stupid guys. I can't allow it to happen again.
I am in the mood right now where I just hate every couple.
I know all this is coming after I said that I had a crush on someone...
I didn't get rejected.
He doesn't even know who I am.
I've just been thinking about all of this.
Especially after I asked myself why I ever would think some guy would want someone who already has a kid. Then it all spiraled down.
What makes me think that I deserve someone as wonderful as he sounds?
What makes me think that I deserve anyone at all?
Maybe is that what God planned for me?
For me to hate myself? For me to be so lonely and jealous of everybody?
If He did, then it's working..
Self doubt is a constant thing in my everyday life.
I think most guys are too good for me. The ones that I am attracted to.
I don't want to feel like this forever.
I don't want to hate myself forever.
There is just about nothing that I like myself.
I don't know what my son and friends see.
I hate my looks. Absolutely hands down.
I hate myself.
I am totally and completely jealous of just about all of my friends.
I am the only single one out of my best friends. It kills to see or hear about their significant others with them. I know some read this and I'm sorry. I can't help of be jealous.
I long for someone to even look at me as a possible soul mate.
I really don't care if it sounds shallow. I don't really care.
I have a huge fear of rejection. I won't put myself into any position that would even have the possibly of rejection. I've been hurt by too many stupid guys. I can't allow it to happen again.
I am in the mood right now where I just hate every couple.
I know all this is coming after I said that I had a crush on someone...
I didn't get rejected.
He doesn't even know who I am.
I've just been thinking about all of this.
Especially after I asked myself why I ever would think some guy would want someone who already has a kid. Then it all spiraled down.
What makes me think that I deserve someone as wonderful as he sounds?
What makes me think that I deserve anyone at all?
Maybe is that what God planned for me?
For me to hate myself? For me to be so lonely and jealous of everybody?
If He did, then it's working..
April 13, 2014
Okay, so right now it's not really April 13, but I've pretty much been busy today since the time I walked out the door around 9:45ish am until about a half hour ago at 12:15ish am.
This morning I went to church and was glad I did. I have missed being there.
I had never really realized just how many friends my dad had until he stopped to talk to so many people while my son, my sister, and I were trying to get him out the door to Big Boy to eat Sunday lunch.
At Big Boy, I went to pay partial of my phone bill and ended up actually paying for the whole thing would usually wouldn't be bad, but considering that it took just about all of the money out of my account leaving me with barely enough for gas and no money to pay other bills or daycare, I was pretty upset. So I spent about an hour on the phone with Sprint trying to my money refunded. Thankfully it will be and I can pay the amount I want to on Friday.
Right before that phone call though, my sister and I got into a fight because she doesn't really get when is a good time to shut her mouth and mind her own business. Everything seemed to just explode at the lunch table.
I mean, eventually my sister and I said sorry to each other.
During lunch, the Red Wings game started. This is the first game that I didn't really care if they won or lost. It wasn't going to help them in anyway. It was pretty much a practice for the playoffs which start on Thursday for the Wings and Boston.
But they did win, and they did it against the #2 team in the Central Division and without their best players. They healthy scratched their best goalie, defensemen, and one of the best forwards. Why not? They don't need the practice and really didn't need to get injured in any way.
Our Grand Rapids Griffins' goalie Mrazek was in the net in todays game and saved all shots that faced him.
I watched that with my dad and my sister after lunch.
Then my sister, son, and I went to the grocery store and I grabbed some food for dinner at my best friend/sister's apartment with my brother, nephew, and my son. Noah made some bomb-ass burgers. :)
Then Taylor and I watched Pretty Little Liars and I just couldn't believe how much they had changed from the beginning of the series to the end of this past season. Toby was sounding like a whiny bitch and that's not who he is, haha!
It's kinda hard for me not to give away things in a show to those who had never watched it, which Taylor and Noah had not. It's also kinda funny too though.
So after watching hours of it, I decided around midnight that it was time to drive home.
Now, I'm here. I wanted to update and whatnot.
Because also. Today, I remembered what it felt like to have a small little crush on someone.
I don't know everyone that reads this blog, so I don't want to go into specifics on his name or anything because if even a couple of certain people read this, they would instantly know who he is. All I will say is that he is someone from church that I find very good looking who obviously has passion for the Lord and willingness to serve for Him. And I do really find that very attracting. :)
Until tomorrow. <3
This morning I went to church and was glad I did. I have missed being there.
I had never really realized just how many friends my dad had until he stopped to talk to so many people while my son, my sister, and I were trying to get him out the door to Big Boy to eat Sunday lunch.
At Big Boy, I went to pay partial of my phone bill and ended up actually paying for the whole thing would usually wouldn't be bad, but considering that it took just about all of the money out of my account leaving me with barely enough for gas and no money to pay other bills or daycare, I was pretty upset. So I spent about an hour on the phone with Sprint trying to my money refunded. Thankfully it will be and I can pay the amount I want to on Friday.
Right before that phone call though, my sister and I got into a fight because she doesn't really get when is a good time to shut her mouth and mind her own business. Everything seemed to just explode at the lunch table.
I mean, eventually my sister and I said sorry to each other.
During lunch, the Red Wings game started. This is the first game that I didn't really care if they won or lost. It wasn't going to help them in anyway. It was pretty much a practice for the playoffs which start on Thursday for the Wings and Boston.
But they did win, and they did it against the #2 team in the Central Division and without their best players. They healthy scratched their best goalie, defensemen, and one of the best forwards. Why not? They don't need the practice and really didn't need to get injured in any way.
Our Grand Rapids Griffins' goalie Mrazek was in the net in todays game and saved all shots that faced him.
I watched that with my dad and my sister after lunch.
Then my sister, son, and I went to the grocery store and I grabbed some food for dinner at my best friend/sister's apartment with my brother, nephew, and my son. Noah made some bomb-ass burgers. :)
Then Taylor and I watched Pretty Little Liars and I just couldn't believe how much they had changed from the beginning of the series to the end of this past season. Toby was sounding like a whiny bitch and that's not who he is, haha!
It's kinda hard for me not to give away things in a show to those who had never watched it, which Taylor and Noah had not. It's also kinda funny too though.
So after watching hours of it, I decided around midnight that it was time to drive home.
Now, I'm here. I wanted to update and whatnot.
Because also. Today, I remembered what it felt like to have a small little crush on someone.
I don't know everyone that reads this blog, so I don't want to go into specifics on his name or anything because if even a couple of certain people read this, they would instantly know who he is. All I will say is that he is someone from church that I find very good looking who obviously has passion for the Lord and willingness to serve for Him. And I do really find that very attracting. :)
Until tomorrow. <3
Saturday, April 12, 2014
April 12, 2014
I hate rain.
I mean, I like that it isn't snow.
But I hate rain.
I don't like having to stay cooped up in my apartment when it's supposed to be the warmest day we have had in a while. I don't like getting my clothes wet.
So I'm stuck.
Well, last night pretty much sucked. For being the last home game, they didn't play all that well. It's like, okay we made the playoffs so we don't have to play so hard for the last two games. No. That's not how it goes. We already don't have home ice advantage and now we apparently want to play Boston instead of Pittsburgh? Aye. Even for the last home game of the regular season, play your hearts out and play like you did against Pitts for your fans! Your fans who have supported you through the ups and downs, been there anyways when it looked like you weren't going to make the playoffs.
It is what it is. They just better get it together before the playoffs and play hard!
Rain puts me in a bad mood. Unless there is sunshine out. But there's not, so I'm already in an irritated mood. I have a messy house and a few financial issues over my head that I wish I could shake away but I can't.
Being a single parent is extremely hard and I don't suggest it to anyone, not that anyone tries to be a single parent. But those of you who do have the father of your child trying their best to be involved in your child's life, those that do as much as they can for your child, don't be a dumbass bitch and always complain about that. Don't take it for granted. No matter what your relationship with the father may be, whether you guys get along or not, if he is sincerely trying his damn hardest to be there and help support your child emotionally, physically, financially, and every other kind of way, LET HIM! Don't be selfish.
My son's father always claims on his facebook that he "misses and loves" his children and whatnot. While he may think that he misses and loves them, he doesn't. At least not enough to count. If you really wanted to see your son, you would try everything in your power to. You would make the necessary changes, you would do everything necessary. But you don't. You don't really give a damn. You just care about yourself. I haven't talked to him in months, maybe even a year. I changed my number and blocked him on facebook, so he had no way of contacting me. And I don't feel bad about that one bit.
Now, with just reading that and not knowing the back story behind why I have it this way, you may think that I'm being hypocritical and not letting him see his son.
Reality is, I have tried. Multiple times. He didn't show that he wanted it enough. He doesn't have to pay child support according to the state. I disagree with that. I think he should have to. My son is his child as well. Why do I have to do all the support and he doesn't have to do anything? I find it unfair. Michigan left visitation up to me and I said, "No money, no visitation." Call me a bitch, I don't care. I am the one that pays for every single thing for Kaiden. While I accept the responsibility and am not arguing that I shouldn't have to, I think it would be utterly ridiculous to allow him to see him whenever he wants and not have to pay a single penny for anything.
There is more behind my reasons why besides money.
I don't like his lifestyle. At all. It's absolutely NOT something I want my son around.
I don't like the anger issues he has. Although he has never once laid a hand on me and I honestly don't believe he would ever lay a hand on any of his children, I don't want my son exposed to the verbal lashing out.
If he would just stop getting upset over every time I said no and just listened to the reasons why, maybe he would be seeing his right now.
Okay, rant over.
Time to get my stress under control and quit freaking out inside.
I mean, I like that it isn't snow.
But I hate rain.
I don't like having to stay cooped up in my apartment when it's supposed to be the warmest day we have had in a while. I don't like getting my clothes wet.
So I'm stuck.
Well, last night pretty much sucked. For being the last home game, they didn't play all that well. It's like, okay we made the playoffs so we don't have to play so hard for the last two games. No. That's not how it goes. We already don't have home ice advantage and now we apparently want to play Boston instead of Pittsburgh? Aye. Even for the last home game of the regular season, play your hearts out and play like you did against Pitts for your fans! Your fans who have supported you through the ups and downs, been there anyways when it looked like you weren't going to make the playoffs.
It is what it is. They just better get it together before the playoffs and play hard!
Rain puts me in a bad mood. Unless there is sunshine out. But there's not, so I'm already in an irritated mood. I have a messy house and a few financial issues over my head that I wish I could shake away but I can't.
Being a single parent is extremely hard and I don't suggest it to anyone, not that anyone tries to be a single parent. But those of you who do have the father of your child trying their best to be involved in your child's life, those that do as much as they can for your child, don't be a dumbass bitch and always complain about that. Don't take it for granted. No matter what your relationship with the father may be, whether you guys get along or not, if he is sincerely trying his damn hardest to be there and help support your child emotionally, physically, financially, and every other kind of way, LET HIM! Don't be selfish.
My son's father always claims on his facebook that he "misses and loves" his children and whatnot. While he may think that he misses and loves them, he doesn't. At least not enough to count. If you really wanted to see your son, you would try everything in your power to. You would make the necessary changes, you would do everything necessary. But you don't. You don't really give a damn. You just care about yourself. I haven't talked to him in months, maybe even a year. I changed my number and blocked him on facebook, so he had no way of contacting me. And I don't feel bad about that one bit.
Now, with just reading that and not knowing the back story behind why I have it this way, you may think that I'm being hypocritical and not letting him see his son.
Reality is, I have tried. Multiple times. He didn't show that he wanted it enough. He doesn't have to pay child support according to the state. I disagree with that. I think he should have to. My son is his child as well. Why do I have to do all the support and he doesn't have to do anything? I find it unfair. Michigan left visitation up to me and I said, "No money, no visitation." Call me a bitch, I don't care. I am the one that pays for every single thing for Kaiden. While I accept the responsibility and am not arguing that I shouldn't have to, I think it would be utterly ridiculous to allow him to see him whenever he wants and not have to pay a single penny for anything.
There is more behind my reasons why besides money.
I don't like his lifestyle. At all. It's absolutely NOT something I want my son around.
I don't like the anger issues he has. Although he has never once laid a hand on me and I honestly don't believe he would ever lay a hand on any of his children, I don't want my son exposed to the verbal lashing out.
If he would just stop getting upset over every time I said no and just listened to the reasons why, maybe he would be seeing his right now.
Okay, rant over.
Time to get my stress under control and quit freaking out inside.
Friday, April 11, 2014
April 11, 2014
It. Is. BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE!!!
I am very sincerely loving this weather. It's kinda hard not to be in a bad mood when the sun is shining like this. Especially after a long and very harsh winter! I'm just so glad to see no more snow on the ground! Gimme this little taste of summer. It's only 68* right now! Loving it.
So today as I was delivering, I was thinking about how it's almost been 3 years since I had two jobs. When I took on the gas station while already working for my dad, I thought it wouldn't last very long with having two. Then, one year passed and two years passed...and now I just had my 3 year anniversary at my dad's and will in June at the gas station.
Not only have I worked two jobs for almost 3 years, but I have worked 3 jobs for almost 5 months!
I have cut back on hours lately and slowed it down so it doesn't really feel like much right now, but still. I never thought I would be able to work 3 jobs, yet I am and still going.
What I would really like though, is one, full time job that is between the hours of when Kaiden's school will start in the fall and when it gets out, so that I have the full weekends and nights with him.
So maybe, depends on where I'm working by then.
I may even go outside in a few minutes with my dog and wait for my father to get to his house where I am at so we can go to the game!
I may update later tonight after the game when we get back to the hotel room. If not, there's always tomorrow. :)
I am very sincerely loving this weather. It's kinda hard not to be in a bad mood when the sun is shining like this. Especially after a long and very harsh winter! I'm just so glad to see no more snow on the ground! Gimme this little taste of summer. It's only 68* right now! Loving it.
So today as I was delivering, I was thinking about how it's almost been 3 years since I had two jobs. When I took on the gas station while already working for my dad, I thought it wouldn't last very long with having two. Then, one year passed and two years passed...and now I just had my 3 year anniversary at my dad's and will in June at the gas station.
Not only have I worked two jobs for almost 3 years, but I have worked 3 jobs for almost 5 months!
I have cut back on hours lately and slowed it down so it doesn't really feel like much right now, but still. I never thought I would be able to work 3 jobs, yet I am and still going.
What I would really like though, is one, full time job that is between the hours of when Kaiden's school will start in the fall and when it gets out, so that I have the full weekends and nights with him.
So maybe, depends on where I'm working by then.
I may even go outside in a few minutes with my dog and wait for my father to get to his house where I am at so we can go to the game!
I may update later tonight after the game when we get back to the hotel room. If not, there's always tomorrow. :)
Thursday, April 10, 2014
April 10, 2014
Anybody that has worked a job where they depend on the tips will understand my frustration at the people out there who stiff or tip very small.
Now, please don't get me wrong and think that I am being greedy or ungrateful. That is definitely not the case.
Just please understand that my hourly pay is less than minimum wage and actually do depend on tips to get by until the next paycheck.
For me, delivering subs, I don't expect a $10 tip. Not even a $5 one. The average I would have to say is about $2-3, and that is just fine.
If I am using my own gas, adding extra wear and tear onto my car just to bring you one lonely sub and you don't tip...that just pisses me right the hell off. There is hardly a delivery charge on your food, the least you can do is give $1 if you want to be really cheap. If you can't afford to give a tip, you really shouldn't have used your last money on a sandwich.
We try the very best to get you your food as fast as possible.
No lie, I had this one delivery where it took me 9 minutes (I kept track because my PIC told me to get there as quick as possible) from the time she began to place her order to the time I walked back to my car from her house...and she gave me only 75 cents. Whuuuuuut.
Then, later that night, I had a delivery where it took me over 20 minutes because we were busy and I was the only driver, and he gave me a $5 tip.
I tip whoever and wherever based on their quickness, service, attitude, and knowledge.
I usually always tip 20% or more, depending on if I feel the 20% was too little.
I rarely stiff. But it does happen because their service was shit.
I depend on these tips to help. They are usually my gas money or spending money. Right now, it's going towards Kaiden's birthday and birthday party, then after, they will be going towards my vacation in California later on this summer.
There are others out there who depend on their tips for their bills and food, much more important than my tips.
Now, please don't get me wrong and think that I am being greedy or ungrateful. That is definitely not the case.
Just please understand that my hourly pay is less than minimum wage and actually do depend on tips to get by until the next paycheck.
For me, delivering subs, I don't expect a $10 tip. Not even a $5 one. The average I would have to say is about $2-3, and that is just fine.
If I am using my own gas, adding extra wear and tear onto my car just to bring you one lonely sub and you don't tip...that just pisses me right the hell off. There is hardly a delivery charge on your food, the least you can do is give $1 if you want to be really cheap. If you can't afford to give a tip, you really shouldn't have used your last money on a sandwich.
We try the very best to get you your food as fast as possible.
No lie, I had this one delivery where it took me 9 minutes (I kept track because my PIC told me to get there as quick as possible) from the time she began to place her order to the time I walked back to my car from her house...and she gave me only 75 cents. Whuuuuuut.
Then, later that night, I had a delivery where it took me over 20 minutes because we were busy and I was the only driver, and he gave me a $5 tip.
I tip whoever and wherever based on their quickness, service, attitude, and knowledge.
I usually always tip 20% or more, depending on if I feel the 20% was too little.
I rarely stiff. But it does happen because their service was shit.
I depend on these tips to help. They are usually my gas money or spending money. Right now, it's going towards Kaiden's birthday and birthday party, then after, they will be going towards my vacation in California later on this summer.
There are others out there who depend on their tips for their bills and food, much more important than my tips.
April 9, 2014 #2
Okay, I lied.
I did have deep thoughts today.
I know of a couple of ladies that let their husband/boyfriend/whatever treat them like crap, like less than a human being. It infuriates me. I just don't understand why a woman would allow herself to be put down all the time.
I guess maybe I can understand a bit...I used to be there. I allowed myself to be walked over by my ex boyfriends. I allowed myself to be talked down to, to be disrespected, to be used. All because I thought it was better than being alone.
Boy was I wrong!
I am no longer in such a position and I'm damn proud to say so!
No more will a man use his words to hurt me. God, please help him if he does!
No more will a man use me.
No more will a man disrespect me.
No more.
I'm so much more independent than when I last had a boyfriend...over 2 years ago.
Sometimes I feel okay about it, sometimes I hate it.
I've been told by a good friend who is like my little sister that I am a bitch when someone first meets me. She should know...we didn't like each other when she first starting working with me. Now, I just love her! But in all seriousness, I really am mean to new people I meet. I don't like eye contact, I don't like the change in meeting someone new. I feel weird. I feel like I can't really be who I am. I don't even know why.
I call it a defense mechanism.
I don't like new people getting close to me without knowing who they are.
If I am like this, how can I expect to meet my future mate?
So I know I have to learn to stop putting up those fences.
I expect to find a man who treats me as his equal, treats me with respect, understands that my money isn't for his wants.
This doesn't mean that I won't take care of my man, but it will be an equal partnership, a two way street. As long as one takes care of the other, it will be reciprocated.
Just my ideas.
I did have deep thoughts today.
I know of a couple of ladies that let their husband/boyfriend/whatever treat them like crap, like less than a human being. It infuriates me. I just don't understand why a woman would allow herself to be put down all the time.
I guess maybe I can understand a bit...I used to be there. I allowed myself to be walked over by my ex boyfriends. I allowed myself to be talked down to, to be disrespected, to be used. All because I thought it was better than being alone.
Boy was I wrong!
I am no longer in such a position and I'm damn proud to say so!
No more will a man use his words to hurt me. God, please help him if he does!
No more will a man use me.
No more will a man disrespect me.
No more.
I'm so much more independent than when I last had a boyfriend...over 2 years ago.
Sometimes I feel okay about it, sometimes I hate it.
I've been told by a good friend who is like my little sister that I am a bitch when someone first meets me. She should know...we didn't like each other when she first starting working with me. Now, I just love her! But in all seriousness, I really am mean to new people I meet. I don't like eye contact, I don't like the change in meeting someone new. I feel weird. I feel like I can't really be who I am. I don't even know why.
I call it a defense mechanism.
I don't like new people getting close to me without knowing who they are.
If I am like this, how can I expect to meet my future mate?
So I know I have to learn to stop putting up those fences.
I expect to find a man who treats me as his equal, treats me with respect, understands that my money isn't for his wants.
This doesn't mean that I won't take care of my man, but it will be an equal partnership, a two way street. As long as one takes care of the other, it will be reciprocated.
Just my ideas.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
April 9, 2014
As I am writing this, I am also watching the game that clinched the Red Wings to a berth in their 23rd consecutive playoff appearance!!
So, I'm clearly very happy and this game is in OT now, meaning that we had only needed one point to get into the playoffs and we got that! It's now going into a shootout. Because I know that a lot of my readers like reading about the Wings. Haha, hey, it's a huge part of my life!
Today wasn't really much and I hadn't really had deep thoughts today. I don't really think I had much time to really deep think. I was woken up earlier than my alarm, and then got a call from the gas station to help out with the big order of the groceries because the store had done a reset and a lot of new stuff had to be ordered. After that, I did a few running around errands for my dad, then headed over to Jimmy John's to work another Wednesday night.
So it's just been a long work day for me.
Shootout time:
Penguins Neal: MISS
Detroit Alfredsson: MISS
Penguins Crosby: MISS
Detroit Datsyuk: MISS
Penguins Jokinen: SCORE
Now, it's up to Detroit! Tatar better score!!!
Detroit Tatar: MISS
Ughhh. Damnnn.
But hey! Red Wings made the playoffs!! I'll take that over winning a shootout!
Now, I'm gunna go dye my hair. Because, well, I've honestly been putting it off soooooooo.
Until tomorrow. :)
So, I'm clearly very happy and this game is in OT now, meaning that we had only needed one point to get into the playoffs and we got that! It's now going into a shootout. Because I know that a lot of my readers like reading about the Wings. Haha, hey, it's a huge part of my life!
Today wasn't really much and I hadn't really had deep thoughts today. I don't really think I had much time to really deep think. I was woken up earlier than my alarm, and then got a call from the gas station to help out with the big order of the groceries because the store had done a reset and a lot of new stuff had to be ordered. After that, I did a few running around errands for my dad, then headed over to Jimmy John's to work another Wednesday night.
So it's just been a long work day for me.
Shootout time:
Penguins Neal: MISS
Detroit Alfredsson: MISS
Penguins Crosby: MISS
Detroit Datsyuk: MISS
Penguins Jokinen: SCORE
Now, it's up to Detroit! Tatar better score!!!
Detroit Tatar: MISS
Ughhh. Damnnn.
But hey! Red Wings made the playoffs!! I'll take that over winning a shootout!
Now, I'm gunna go dye my hair. Because, well, I've honestly been putting it off soooooooo.
Until tomorrow. :)
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
April 8, 2014
I miss my baby boy today.
I usually do everyday.
Even when he gets on my last nerve.
I can't imagine my life without his sweet smiles and little wonderful embraces.
My kid, he's sure one of a kind.
Given his circumstances with growing up with no dad, he's doing more splendid that I thought he would. It doesn't even bother him that he doesn't have a dad and his other friends do.
One day, he will meet his dad. But for right now, it's not the best time or in his best interest to have him involved.
My son has so many hopes and dreams, as I do for him as well.
He always tells me that he wants to play for the Detroit Red Wings.
Many people may think that I pushed him into wanting to do that, and I admit I have joked about it a few times with him...but he came to that idea on his own. He watches the hockey games with me once in a while, and even just went to his first Red Wings games a few weeks ago. He had such a blast and enjoyed it a lot more than I thought he would.
In addition to wanting to be a hockey player, he also wants to play soccer and baseball.
I want him to learn karate.
He enjoys art and writing.
He loves acting out shows.
He loves to run and play on the playground like most children.
His favorite color has been red, but most recently turned to blue and green.
Ninjago is one of his favorite shows and he loves playing with legos.
He is so funny and loves to make people laugh and smile.
He wants his room to be painted in the same Maize and Blue as Michigan.
He does so well in school and daycare and has quite a bit of friends.
I could honestly go on and on about my wonderful and sweet boy.
However, I am at work and need to give the computer back to my dad's secretary, soooo...the bragging of my child needs to wait for another time.
Until then.
<3
I usually do everyday.
Even when he gets on my last nerve.
I can't imagine my life without his sweet smiles and little wonderful embraces.
My kid, he's sure one of a kind.
Given his circumstances with growing up with no dad, he's doing more splendid that I thought he would. It doesn't even bother him that he doesn't have a dad and his other friends do.
One day, he will meet his dad. But for right now, it's not the best time or in his best interest to have him involved.
My son has so many hopes and dreams, as I do for him as well.
He always tells me that he wants to play for the Detroit Red Wings.
Many people may think that I pushed him into wanting to do that, and I admit I have joked about it a few times with him...but he came to that idea on his own. He watches the hockey games with me once in a while, and even just went to his first Red Wings games a few weeks ago. He had such a blast and enjoyed it a lot more than I thought he would.
In addition to wanting to be a hockey player, he also wants to play soccer and baseball.
I want him to learn karate.
He enjoys art and writing.
He loves acting out shows.
He loves to run and play on the playground like most children.
His favorite color has been red, but most recently turned to blue and green.
Ninjago is one of his favorite shows and he loves playing with legos.
He is so funny and loves to make people laugh and smile.
He wants his room to be painted in the same Maize and Blue as Michigan.
He does so well in school and daycare and has quite a bit of friends.
I could honestly go on and on about my wonderful and sweet boy.
However, I am at work and need to give the computer back to my dad's secretary, soooo...the bragging of my child needs to wait for another time.
Until then.
<3
Monday, April 7, 2014
April 7, 2014 #2
It's super frustrating to have to all the housework yourself, including the messes of your child while your child just sits around and keeps making a mess.
So I'm trying to implement some chores for him. Some very simple, age appropriate chores.
Trying to get him to stay focused on the task at hand, completely the chore, and not lolli-gagging around, is also super frustrating. If I have to follow him around every single second to make sure it's getting done, I may as well do the chore myself. I try to give him a little freedom without me having to look for his shoulder, but when I go to check up on him, he's just playing with whatever is nearby.
Do I have to throw all his toys away so that there is no mess ever? So that he doesn't have anything to play with when he's supposed to be doing chores.
I'm at my wit's end with this crap. I'm TIRED. I work three jobs, then come home after being exhausted, just to stare at my house of a mess.
Not to mention that I have friends and family who are always judging me on it. Not that they would admit to me that they do, but I know they do. They can walk in my shoes for a week, then tell me that they aren't tired everyday.
Yes, I can be a slob. But I sure as hell ain't how I used to be. That's for damn sure.
It feels like too many people expect too much out of me.
Can't they see that I'm trying to do the best I can with what I'm given?
I don't make a lot of money...I make just barely enough to get by with bills and necessity.
I'm still in debt.
There are a couple of bills that are going unpaid right now until I get more money.
I love working at Jimmy John's and people I work with there.
I don't like working at a gas station where the higher-ups don't give a single damn about how hard you work for them...they still look you over when you want to desperately to move up in the company. They lie to you. I don't want to work for anybody that has to lie to me. I love most of my coworkers at the gas station.
Working for my dad is the highest pay, but the lower paychecks. I get bored, there is not always guaranteed work to do, and what work there is, I usually don't like it to begin with. It's not fun, but I stay to help my dad.
I don't want to work for him anymore, though. I don't have just the father-daughter bond with him...now it's boss-employee with some father-daughter.
I think family members are usually best not working with each other.
*sigh*
It's a frustrating night and it hasn't even been a real sucky day. I hope the rest of you are doing better than I am!
So I'm trying to implement some chores for him. Some very simple, age appropriate chores.
Trying to get him to stay focused on the task at hand, completely the chore, and not lolli-gagging around, is also super frustrating. If I have to follow him around every single second to make sure it's getting done, I may as well do the chore myself. I try to give him a little freedom without me having to look for his shoulder, but when I go to check up on him, he's just playing with whatever is nearby.
Do I have to throw all his toys away so that there is no mess ever? So that he doesn't have anything to play with when he's supposed to be doing chores.
I'm at my wit's end with this crap. I'm TIRED. I work three jobs, then come home after being exhausted, just to stare at my house of a mess.
Not to mention that I have friends and family who are always judging me on it. Not that they would admit to me that they do, but I know they do. They can walk in my shoes for a week, then tell me that they aren't tired everyday.
Yes, I can be a slob. But I sure as hell ain't how I used to be. That's for damn sure.
It feels like too many people expect too much out of me.
Can't they see that I'm trying to do the best I can with what I'm given?
I don't make a lot of money...I make just barely enough to get by with bills and necessity.
I'm still in debt.
There are a couple of bills that are going unpaid right now until I get more money.
I love working at Jimmy John's and people I work with there.
I don't like working at a gas station where the higher-ups don't give a single damn about how hard you work for them...they still look you over when you want to desperately to move up in the company. They lie to you. I don't want to work for anybody that has to lie to me. I love most of my coworkers at the gas station.
Working for my dad is the highest pay, but the lower paychecks. I get bored, there is not always guaranteed work to do, and what work there is, I usually don't like it to begin with. It's not fun, but I stay to help my dad.
I don't want to work for him anymore, though. I don't have just the father-daughter bond with him...now it's boss-employee with some father-daughter.
I think family members are usually best not working with each other.
*sigh*
It's a frustrating night and it hasn't even been a real sucky day. I hope the rest of you are doing better than I am!
April 7, 2014
I had another one of those "boyfriend" dreams. But this was kind of different than the others. I mean, it started out like the same...I'm sincerely happy with this wonderful guy who accepts Kaiden and I the way we are. There's more to it though. It was like I was sending a message to myself? In my dream I was trying to take a selfie (yeah I kind of do those a lot) and I was saying out loud but trying to type it out, "I just have to be happy with myself before being happy with someone else."
I hear that a lot.
I don't like to admit it because I really haven't liked myself for just about all of my life. I never liked the way I looked, talked, walked, everything about me. But there has to be something about me that's good, because I do have a few best friends who have stuck by me, dealt with me, never left my side through anything for the past 10+ years.
I always truly felt that I can't be happy with myself until someone loves me and shows me that I'm worth loving.
And people have. Just not in the way I was counting on.
My son, first and foremost. He loves me no matter what I do, say, or look like. He has unconditional love for me and it's pure.
My best friends, secondly. Like I mentioned above, for some reason they have stuck with me for so many years.
One day, I will meet my soul mate, the one I'm supposed to be with. I'm honestly hoping it's this year. I feel this year is going to be the best year. I just feel it.
In my dream as well, I was on this beach and I was trying to write the date in the sand. It was October...so who knows?
God works in mysterious ways for sure. I just have to have unwavering faith in His plan for Kaiden and I.
<3
I hear that a lot.
I don't like to admit it because I really haven't liked myself for just about all of my life. I never liked the way I looked, talked, walked, everything about me. But there has to be something about me that's good, because I do have a few best friends who have stuck by me, dealt with me, never left my side through anything for the past 10+ years.
I always truly felt that I can't be happy with myself until someone loves me and shows me that I'm worth loving.
And people have. Just not in the way I was counting on.
My son, first and foremost. He loves me no matter what I do, say, or look like. He has unconditional love for me and it's pure.
My best friends, secondly. Like I mentioned above, for some reason they have stuck with me for so many years.
One day, I will meet my soul mate, the one I'm supposed to be with. I'm honestly hoping it's this year. I feel this year is going to be the best year. I just feel it.
In my dream as well, I was on this beach and I was trying to write the date in the sand. It was October...so who knows?
God works in mysterious ways for sure. I just have to have unwavering faith in His plan for Kaiden and I.
<3
Sunday, April 6, 2014
April 6, 2014
So it's obviously been awhile.
I just didn't really know what else to say anymore.
I felt like nobody really read any posts...like I was talking to myself.
Maybe I am.
Maybe that's what I need.
I created this blog in hopes of trying to reach out and talk about important topics such as Asperger's Syndrome, Phenylketonuria, COPD, Congenital Heart disease and anything else I mentioned...but failed to do so.
All of those topics are still very much important and dear to me, but the reality is that I don't really know much about those topics from a first hand point of view.
A lot of what I talked about was information on what I have found online, which any one of you could do yourselves if you really wanted to know about them.
Sure, my sister has Asperger's Syndrome and my brother has Phenylketonuria...but that's them. I don't really know about their lives anymore.
Yes, I see them just about everyday. But I don't live with them anymore. I don't talk about their conditions, either. I don't know what it's like to actually live their lives.
So, I've decided to not make my blog about these very important topics, but to talk about me, my life, my son, and all those dear to me...even those that aren't.
I always thought my life was kind of boring, but really, it kind of isn't.
I could tell stories up and down about my friends, families, memories of the past, and the type of crazy stuff that happens at each of my jobs. Okay, well two of my jobs.
So like my blog is called, "Life Like Mine,"...you are really going to see what it's like to live like me.
A single mom to a wonderfully silly and smart almost five year-old boy, who works three very different jobs, trying to balance work life with personal life and raising a kid in these crazy times of the world.
For the first time in my life, I really want to embrace who I really am. I want to embrace my flaws, but also work on bettering myself for the good of my son and I.
So hold on, because sometimes my life can get pretty crazy.
But with the love and support from God, my family, and my friends...I got this.
<3
I just didn't really know what else to say anymore.
I felt like nobody really read any posts...like I was talking to myself.
Maybe I am.
Maybe that's what I need.
I created this blog in hopes of trying to reach out and talk about important topics such as Asperger's Syndrome, Phenylketonuria, COPD, Congenital Heart disease and anything else I mentioned...but failed to do so.
All of those topics are still very much important and dear to me, but the reality is that I don't really know much about those topics from a first hand point of view.
A lot of what I talked about was information on what I have found online, which any one of you could do yourselves if you really wanted to know about them.
Sure, my sister has Asperger's Syndrome and my brother has Phenylketonuria...but that's them. I don't really know about their lives anymore.
Yes, I see them just about everyday. But I don't live with them anymore. I don't talk about their conditions, either. I don't know what it's like to actually live their lives.
So, I've decided to not make my blog about these very important topics, but to talk about me, my life, my son, and all those dear to me...even those that aren't.
I always thought my life was kind of boring, but really, it kind of isn't.
I could tell stories up and down about my friends, families, memories of the past, and the type of crazy stuff that happens at each of my jobs. Okay, well two of my jobs.
So like my blog is called, "Life Like Mine,"...you are really going to see what it's like to live like me.
A single mom to a wonderfully silly and smart almost five year-old boy, who works three very different jobs, trying to balance work life with personal life and raising a kid in these crazy times of the world.
For the first time in my life, I really want to embrace who I really am. I want to embrace my flaws, but also work on bettering myself for the good of my son and I.
So hold on, because sometimes my life can get pretty crazy.
But with the love and support from God, my family, and my friends...I got this.
<3
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