January 16, 2015

So only a few people know (and if I didn't tell you yet, I'm sorry!) but I have decided to go back to J&H. It won't be at the station I used to work at, it's at a location that I feel more comfortable to be myself. Yes, I'll be working full time at Fazoli's as an Associate Manager still, but will be taking on being an Associate part time at the Mobil station.

Why am I doing this, you may or may not be asking? Because I want the extra money. I need to be prepared for when my sister moves out and I have some goals to achieve. Plus I'm tired of being broke like every other paycheck. I'm at least not living paycheck to paycheck anymore since just having Fazoli's...but this will help out to ensure that I don't go back to that once my sister gets her own place with one of her best friends.


I'm nervous but excited to start. I'm not sure when that will be yet. I do know that it's next week. He has yet to make the schedule but I'm hoping that it's done by the time I go up to see him and what not.
I won't be making the same as when I left but decently close that it doesn't bother me. Even though I will be coming back as a re-hire and newer at that location than everyone there...I have 3 years put into this company and that puts me as fitting in pretty well. I will not need any training...if anything just a couple of shifts to learn where things are and how they do things. I have worked at that location a few times in the past and even had a couple of regular shifts on the schedule when I first started. I know the manager pretty well and have known him since I started at the company. I know the company rules and standards, I know the computer, I know the basic procedures.

I am actually excited about this. Haha.

Wish me luck with this adventure of two jobs that I just can't seem to stay away from. Once you do it for a few years, I guess it just kind of because second nature. All the free time I've had with just one full time job has been nice, but I usually just find myself bored and laying in bed watching TV or something. Time to earn some money during that time off from Fazoli's.

Onto the next. ;)

January 11, 2015

So I've been binge watching some shows lately. Friends, NCIS (All three shows), Law & Order: SVU, etc. It makes me want to travel even more. Especially to NYC. I've also been considering moving out of state. I feel just stuck here. I have a few friends who are about 95% of the reason why I'm still in Michigan. The other 5% is because of my parents and the Red Wings, hahaha.

As sad as is sounds that my parents are only part of the 5% keeping me here, think about it. Do you still live down the street from your parents? Most of the people I had graduated with went on to college away from their parents and got married and started families of their own. It's a part of life. I'm not 20 any more. I'll be 25 this year. I'll be in my mid 20's. I need to reach out and expand, for the sake of myself and my son. Why keep myself stuck in a place that I'm not growing?

Please don't get me wrong...I love Michigan. It's part of who I am, there are such beautiful sights, and is the home of some amazing sports teams. It's where I grew up and where I met the people who mean the most to me.

I just feel that I've reached the end of my potential here. Maybe I'm wrong.
But I will definitely do some traveling. I love traveling.

January 8, 2014

Lately I have had so many emotions and thoughts flowing. I can't really seem to have the time or even energy to sort through them. It's gotten to where I'm sitting here and just feel emotionless. I'm not happy, but I'm not exactly sad or unhappy. Mostly, I'm just really tired. Everything is exhausting me right now. Life and work.

Then I start thinking about the future and what it holds for me and my mind can't even wrap around that either. There are still so much more things that I want to accomplish or just even get to. So many things that I still need to figure out.

One thing that I have figured out for the most part is that I'm going to start Kaiden in hockey as soon as I can. He really wants to play. I'm told that its the most expensive sport for kids to play...but if he wants to do it and then enjoys doing it, I'm going to do what I can to make sure he is able to.

So I guess that a really my thoughts for right now.

January 2, 2015

Day 1 of new living is down! I went to the gym last night after Kaiden went to sleep and joined my cousin and her boyfriend. Working out with both of them really helped me stay more motivated and I was on the treadmill for longer than I usually would. 40 minutes. Music, then watching Friends really helped as well. I also did some arm workouts them enjoyed the massage chair.

When I got home, my sister was still up and she helped hold me down while I completed my day 1 of my sit up challenge and then helped count as I did my day 1 of the squats challenge.

Hopefully this motivation sticks.
I just have to keep remembering Florida. Syd and I are going in August and I want to be able to not be ashamed of my body when we go to the beach or swimming.

I just want to have a positive body image overall. I'm tired of thinking I look disgusting in so many pictures.

I'm almost done eating breakfast then calling my parents house to see if my other sister is awake yet. She likes to go to the gym too. I want to go this morning and then after work again tonight.

I told you, determination is high right now. Please pray that it stays for me. :)

January 1, 2015

It's so weird to type 2015. I can't even really begin to believe that it's already another year.
I know some people try to come up with New Year's Resolutions and try to stick with them...but that usually doesn't work.
So I have some actual goals that I want to achieve this year. I feel they are all possible.

• Grow closer to God. I want to build a foundation and be able to just entirely and completely trust Him to know what's best for me and guide me in the way He wants me to go.
• Have at least 1 movie night with Kaiden and no distractions of electronics. This can be a theater movie or just a movie that we pop into the Xbox and watch on the bed. 
• Have a nightly routine. Right now, there is no rhyme and reason to the running of my home. Mostly, my sister and I are either on the computer or phone and Kaiden is usually watching TV, although not all the time. We need to establish and actual routine that will help Kaiden and I have a better sleeping schedule and more consistency.
• Get bills caught up and current. We are almost there, but not quite. Now that Christmas is out of the way, it can be done quicker. 
• Stick to chores and have a cleaner home. This is one that needs a lot of work but I do feel that it can be done.
• Pay off all debt, except student loans. Just pay student loans when due. 
• Eat and drink healthier than I do now. I certainly don't eat as much as I used to, but I still eat a bit.
• Get to a healthier weight. According to the BMI, I'm considered obese for my height. I want to get into the healthy range.
• Have more self confidence.
• Love more and hate less.
• Let go of the past and everyone in it. I still hold on to some painful memories and it makes me bitter to a point. I need to let go of them and leave them in the past. 
• Get back into school. I don't know exactly what I want to do yet. It's going to take a bit of researching and finding out more about myself. But I don't want to be a manager at a fast food restaurant for my entire life. 
• Get Kaiden into sports. He really wants to play hockey but he needs to learn how to skate first. He also wants to play soccer and I want to get him into baseball. 

 I feel like each and every thing is in reach. Some will take more time and more effort to achieve, but with the determination and dedication, I feel that I can do it. I will have days where I just don't even want to try...and that's okay. Just can't make a habit of it.