October 24, 2014

Obviously it's been a while since I updated.
Things haven't been like overly exciting...but some things have changed that were pretty big.

I have been officially certified and have done a couple of morning shifts on my own. Monday night is my first closing shift with no manager closing with me. So I'm pretty excited for that.
Financially I am in a better place than I have been in such a while.

The other big thing is that my son's father and I are no longer fighting.
It doesn't mean that he just gets to suddenly see Kaiden whenever he wants...I still have to be able to trust him first to even stay in Kaiden's life once Kaiden is introduced to him. He will be able to see Kaiden, but won't be able to take Kaiden without me there for quite the long time yet.
One step at a time.
It's working pretty well right now.
We are talking and I'm giving him advice on certain things and he even admitted that I'm the evil bitch he thought I was.
I am even talking friendly with his girlfriend. :)
It just feels so good not to have that bitterness anymore.

Now, my parents seem to think that just because him and I are talking on friendly terms that I'm trying to be with him.
Like, where do you even get that idea?! Just because I'm sick of the bitterness, sick of the fighting?!
It's irritating. Can I not have a friendship with the father of my child without getting with him? Yes, I absolutely can.

Speaking of being with someone.
Tonight, I was at the wedding of one of our associate pastors at my church and the daughter of Pastor Gary, and it got me thinking about my wedding some day. I have a lot of plans already started.
But that's getting ahead of myself.
First, I kinda need a man for that wedding I'm thinking about.

And for once, I'm actually waiting on God's time instead of worrying about it. Although, I do feel like it will happen soon, which is a different feeling than a year or so ago.
He will be the perfect guy for me.
He will make me laugh, make me smile, will probably make me cry sometimes. He will love my son like his own. He will be so comfortable with himself that he doesn't care what anybody says about him. He won't be so judgemental, he will love everyone and everything and see the best in anybody.
There are so many things.
And of course, he will be a lover of the most favorite sport ever, HOCKEY. He doesn't necessarily have to be a Red Wings fan.

Someday.

<3