I'm more than blessed and grateful that I actually have someone who is willing to fight against these stupid barriers and self loathing walls and break them down until I actually see what he sees in me.
I know there are a few people out there who would love to see this relationship crash and burn.
I know there are a few people out there who don't believe this relationship will last for me.
I know there are a few people out there who don't want me to be in this relationship.
I got two words for you.
Fuck off.
Cory is the second best person to have ever entered my life.
He is one of the most patient people I have ever met. He's incredibly patient with me, even though I may push his buttons sometimes. He doesn't cease to let me know that he cares and that he's there, no matter how irritated I may make him with my random mood and emotional swings. I feel like sometimes I put that man through too many tests. I don't know why, because I get the same result in the end: He's still there. At the end of every single day, he is still there and still wants to be with me. Call that man crazy.
He is literally my best friend. I can tell him everything and anything. I may not like some of the things he has to say back, but why would I want him to lie to me? I'd rather have him tell me exactly how he feels about something, even if I don't like it, than to have him lie about how he really feels.
He is consistently trying to make me see the best in myself. He encourages my strengths and is willing to help me on my weaknesses. He doesn't push me for anything I don't want. Yeah, he'd like me to eat healthier. Yeah, he's had his comments on my food choices. But, he's never once told me what to do about it. He will put his two cents on the table, then leave it for me to decide what I want to do with it.
I don't thank God as much as I should for bringing me to him or him to me.
And it's so weird how quickly your life can change.
How quickly you adapt to a new way that you have never been used to.
Kaiden is excited about actually having a father type figure in his life. And before anybody starts freaking out, no he doesn't call Cory "dad" and yes he knows that Cory is not his father.
But my son just absolutely adores him.
Just the other night, we were at Cory's sister's house for a bonfire. Kaiden wanted to play video games inside, I was playing Cards Against Humanity outside with a friend, his sister, and her friend, while the guys were sitting around the fire. Kaiden would come out of the home and run up to us and I'd ask "What's up?" thinking that he wanted me for something. But then he would just ask where Cory was and then want to bring him inside to show Cory something that he did.
Never once did Cory complain about being interrupted. He'd go every single time with Kaiden and be excited for him.
It's the little things like that.
When Cory would tickle Kaiden or do silly things to make him laugh.
Then add in his daughter.
She's such a sweetheart. The way her and Kaiden interact with each other is wonderful. I love spending the time I get to see her.
There is another one, but my computer and phone want to be stupid and not find it.
As much as I'm going through a lot internally, at a battle with my own insecurities within my self having to do with only myself, I'm so proud to say that I actually have a man who's more than willing to stand beside me as I fight against 10 years of self loathing negativity and help me when need be.
Kaiden, Cory, and Kiarra are my rocks.
Without them, I would certainly be lost in a sea of who knows what inside my head.
I'm betting that going back to church would help me sort it all out as well.
Cory is going to come with me to my church sometimes and I will be going to his church sometimes.
I'm going to be 25 years old this year, about damn time I shed what I used to be and put on what I'm going to be.
Until next time. <3
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