September 10, 2014

It's amazing the amount of people that come into your life, mean so much to you, then turn around and walk out. Like, why even bother?
Because without them...you wouldn't be you.
I've gotten hurt by quite a few "friends" in my life.
One moment, they were your friends for a certain amount of time, then the next, they turn around on you and just act like a completely different person and come out of no where with their crap.
And so you guys say your deuces...but you can't help but think about them.
And it hurts.
One certain friend. He was my best friend (or so I thought) since really like 10th grade. We were walking partners at Graduation. I thought we were going to be lifelong best friends. But then I got pregnant, asked him to be the Godfather, he declined, went to college hours away, and pretty much sent me a long ass message on facebook about how he was faking all that time about being friends.
Like are you fucking kidding me?
Another friend. We worked together, had fun times. But then some shit happened in her life, I don't know. It just happened as quickly. Someone told her lies that I supposedly told them that she trusted me with and I just still can't understand why she would believe THEM and NOT ME? Her facebook is not private and that's pretty much where all the info came from.

I'm not so quick to trust people anymore.
I'm also so quick to assume that people just pretend to be my friends, because of these experiences.
There are only a handful of people that have a two-way friendship with me. A friendship with effort from both people. They know who they are, and I don't know where I would be without them.

Sometimes, I wished I never went to the Middle School when I did.
I was so fucking weird back then.

But if I hadn't gone when I did, I wouldn't know one of the very best, most beautiful, so amazing best friend, the mother of my wonderful niece...Heather. <3

When I think about those old friendships that for some reason, I still wish I had...I think about the ones that I would just absolutely die without and makes me feel better to know that they are the true friends that love me no matter what I had done in my life.

You know who you are. I love you! <3