Maybe writing this post at midnight with a sleeping pill starting to kick in, but there were quite a few things on my mind today.
- Respect. Is that really hard to do nowadays? Yes, I tend to have an attitude at times. Am I always right with the attitude? No, not always. But it happens and I am aware that it is something I need to work on. But if you are one that is demanding respect from others when you treat them like literal shit...you're absolutely not going to get any respect at all. The most sincere and best respect you can get from someone is when you give the same back. It's really not that difficult at all. My instance is when I'm at work and a manager gets the shittiest attitude and starts snapping at something that I may or may not have done...the best way to tell me that I screwed up in something is to tell me with a level tone. Don't belittle me, you absolutely will get an attitude. That is an instant set off for me. I have absolutely no problem with being corrected because I want to do my best and if I'm not doing it right, I would love to know...but there is a way to go about it. Do it calmly and make me feel like a person. You don't have to yell at me to get your point across. I am pretty sure that I am not the only person that feels this way...that the best way to be corrected to have it done in a civil manner. There is a time, a place, and a tone to being corrected.
It's seemingly rare nowadays to find people that just respect another person's property, area, feelings, thoughts, what have you. These stories about murders and burglaries. I know these have been around for many, many years...but dang. It seems like every other story in the news is about this murder or that murder. I don't understand why. What makes someone just want to take another person's life?! Sure, I have people that I get incredibly mad at and think that my life would be better without them in it...but it's not all about me. They have a life, family, friends. Why don't killers understand or realize? Hearing about that 9 year old who got stabbed while just playing at his neighborhood's playground just makes me scared to let my son walk out my front door without me. When I was his age, shit like that wasn't very common.
I think back to when I was younger and would just go riding my bike around my neighborhood and down a few streets and across the busy street and down some more streets to my cousins' houses and it really wasn't a big deal. Like I spent a lot of time outside and away from my parents, just playing and being a kid. I didn't get murdered or hurt or snatched. But again, I'm afraid to let my son go five feet away from me. He's five and I still make him hold my hand or walk right in front of me in public. I didn't have to do that when I was five. But then again, that was 18 years ago. Things were way different back then. The 90's were incredible years.
-Sportscars. Yeah, they look cool and all that, but when you gun your engine and take off like you are in a race or something, or drive at night without your lights on....you just look dumb. I don't understand what the meaning of having to do that was? What satisfaction did you get out of maybe ruining parts of your car? Showing off? You're not that cool.
-Work. I do understand that in my lifetime, I will have to work jobs that I hate. What pays the bills, right? But damn. I hate being bored. I thought it was going to be amazing to work at a place that sells sports apparel and other really cool things, but when the business is not there or you're being forced to talk to customers that you either have already talked to and they just want to get about their business or shopping or just downright don't want to talk to you...it gets really annoying. I'm one of those shoppers that really don't want the workers talking to me. I didn't come into a store to talk to you. I came here to shop. I totally get having that customer connection and getting to know them and whatnot, but being pressured and pushed and forced to do it when, again, half the time it's unwanted...that's annoying.
Then when you're working your butt off while your managers are just standing around and talking to each other about everything but work, it starts pissing me off. Especially when there are things that actually need to be done. What, that's all supposed to be on me? What are you getting paid to do, talk?! If you wanna talk about your weekend, fine....but please either do it while you are doing some work, or don't start bitching at me for not doing any work when you aren't and could be.
I also found out that I don't really have good days when I have to work on a Saturday. Maybe because it's a day that my son can't go to daycare so I feel like I want to stay at home with him too. But that's not how it is with my life. I need my jobs, so I have to work what I am given.
-My son. Today while I was working and looking through the cute clothes at work, I was thinking about how big my son is getting, how grown he is getting. He's five now, like I've said before...but seeing like the toddler clothes, then realizing my son doesn't fit those sizes anymore and that I actually have to shop in the boys section instead of the kids section. That made me sad. Then I just started to wonder what he will be like when he's 8, 10, 12, 14, 16, 18....what's he going to be into? What's the world going to be like for him then? What's he going to look like? Will he be great in school? What ambitions, goal, dreams will he have?
I make it a point now to let him know that he can be anything he wants to be when he's older. The sky is the limits for him. Whatever he chooses to do with his life...I will be right there with him. Every step of the way. Nothing will come between me and my child. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING he could do would tear us a part. He will have me...I will be his biggest fan, cheerleader.
That's pretty much everything that has ran through my mind today...and I'm getting really tired. Sooo. Goodnight..
And you, person reading this at 12:40ish am....I hope you get some sleep as soon as possible!
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